Elliot: J.D. and I keep it superficial.
J.D.: Love the superficial. Dynamite teeth today!
Elliot: Oh thanks buddy!
J.D.: Sparkly.
Elliot: Yeah!

(As he's swimming) Pick an apple, put it in your pocket.

J.D's narration

Oh, you're real. (Looking at Elliot) Although the dolphin custume is a little strange.


Are you ready for your appendectomy, (looks at chart) Mrs. Appendectomy? Now that ain't right!


(About Todd giving Turk a betrayal-five) You know, I actually saw that coming.


(Yelling at J.D., who has just fallen down a cliff on his bike, thinking that it was the finish line) I can play with signs too!


J.D.: It's a Mexican themed Fiesta on the first anniversary of my 29th birthday, that means I'm turning 30. Donde? 56 Walnut Drive! Cuando? Thank you for asking. Ocho thirty until upside down question mark. Sombreros at the door. (Howls) Rrrrrruuuuuu!!!
Turk: I'll be there.
J.D.: Gracias amigo. (To Carla) I borrowed one of your dictionaries.

J.D.: Will you tell me what Jake's fantasy was?
Elliot: Nope.
J.D.: Did it involve chains?
Elliot: No.
J.D.: Whips?
Elliot: Mm-mm.
J.D.: Candle wax?
Elliot: No.
J.D.: Role-playing?
Elliot: No.
J.D.: Lasers?
Elliot: Mm-mm.
J.D.: Hamsters?
Elliot: Negative.
J.D.: Was he a Mexican apple thief?
Elliot: If only...

J.D.'s narration: A wise man once said the human spirit can overcome any obstacle.
J.D.: I can't.
Elliot: Come on!
J.D.'s narration: That man had obviously never run a triathlon.

Dr. Kelso: You know, Perry, it wouldn't hurt you to make some noise around here.
Dr. Cox: How's this? Blow it out your ass, Bob.

Dr. Kelso: She's right, Turkleton. Hell, without anesthesia, you made it halfway through a surgery. I bet you could publish that.
Dr. Cox: Maybe they'll put it in Almost Magazine.

We're also getting a good bit of interest from the seismologists at CalTech, who I understand will be able to chart the magnitude of the scream emanating from your hypnosis patient, as well as, of course, the numerous afterscreams that are sure to follow.

Dr. Cox

Scrubs Season 5 Episode 3 Quotes

Elliot: Why don't you just move into my place?
J.D.: Oh, great, then we'll be two losers under one roof.

As for me, I could overcome any obstacle, as long as I had Elliot and her ridiculously strong thighs beneath me.

J.D.'s Narration