Scrubs Season 1 Episode 23: "My Hero" Quotes
Turk: Come on. How could this guy be the best?
Dr. Wen: You want to know the difference between you two? When you're working, I can always see your wheels turning. You're thinking about what you have to do next, what could go wrong. You're not in the moment. As much as it pains me to say it... The Todd is.
Turk's Narration: Please! Just because I'm thorough and I want to keep two kelly clamps on the field in case their appendiceal artery is inadvertently incised so I can gain immediate hemostatic control doesn't mean I think too much. Plus, what if I needed to...
Todd's Narration [singing]: Dun dun dun dun dun dun dun shiny scalpel! Dun dun dun dun dun dun dun gonna slice him up
Dr. Cox: They hate you Bob. They hate you from the bottom of your hooves to the tip of your pitchfork. They hate you, by god, they hate you!
Dr. Kelso: What are you laughing at?
Laverne: That hooves and pitchforks part
J.D.: Look, Dr. Cox, I've been doing a lot of thinking and I honestly think that the only reason you're not down at that hospital right now is that you're afraid.
Dr. Cox: I think you're right. I do. Partly because you've really... gotten to know me this year... But mostly it's because, well... I told you that I was afraid earlier today so please don't tell me that you've come here to reiterate things to me that I've already said because I know the things I've already said. In fact... I'm the one who said th
Turk: I don't believe this! I didn't get tomorrow's whipple procedure!
Carla: I know, I know.
Turk: This is ridiculous!
Carla: Baby, calm down.
Turk: What's a brother gotta do to get a whipple around here, huh? What's a brother gotta do? Tell me! What do I gotta do to get a whipple around here?
Carla: Listen to me! You gotta stop turning your medical training into some ego-driven contest. No one else is doing that.
Bonnie: Oh, I got the whipple. Suck it, Turk.
Carla: I will end her!
Turk: No, no.
Todd: Dude, dude, let her go. It'll be so hot
J.D.: Uh... got him to put his gown on.
Ben: He sure did! And now my butt itches on account of this scratchy chair
Dr. Kelso: Well, turnabout's fair play and all that, so here's an evaluation form. I figured I'd try to get get a read on how all you interns think I'm doing. Don't sign your name, it's completely anonymous. And Dr. Reid? I'm no she-doc, I can take it!
Carla: Ah ha ha ha! Whoo! You're gonna crush him, right?
Elliot: Oh, yes. How do you spell inadequate?
Carla: Give me that. I'll fill it out for you
Dr. Zeltzer: So, Mr. Sullivan, your blast percentage is quite a bit higher than we all expected. Around eighty percent.
Ben: That's bad, right? You want the number to be low, huh? Like in, uh, golf?
Dr. Zeltzer: Yes, exactly. Like in golf. Do you-do you play?
Jordan: Oh, who the hell cares if he plays golf?!
Dr. Zeltzer: Uh, I was bonding.
Ben: Hey, doing a good job, too
Elliot: Sir, I'm so sorry. Are we cool?
Dr. Kelso: What could possibly have possessed you to write such filth!
Carla: Uh, Dr. Kelso? I need to tell you something.
Elliot: That's okay, Carla, I'm going to take care of that patient. Dr. Kelso, I did it because I didn't think you'd know it was me and I thought that it would be funny.
Dr. Kelso: Let's take a walk. I'd like to tell you a few things that I think are funny
J.D.: You gotta get back in the game, Coxie!... Okay, Coxie was a mistake. Pretend I didn't say Coxie.
Dr. Cox: Geeeet out!
Carla: Dr. Kelso, I wrote that evaluation. It was me. Elliot didn't write a word.
Elliot: But I would've written every single word if I had the courage! And the other side of the tracks upbringing that Carla did! Because you know what I think of you?
Carla: You tell him!
Elliot: You're mean
Dr. Cox: So, uh... you know, what's up?
Ben: You know, this and that. Hey, I met someone.
Dr. Cox: Really?
Ben: Yes. Well, she took a stool sample so I think she works here. Uh, redhead? Uh, tall?
Dr. Cox: Not on the staff, no.
Ben: No? Strange young lady
J.D.: What's wrong?
Janitor: I lost my mop.
J.D.: Really?
Janitor: No! That's what you think? I'm a Janitor, the only thing that would make me sad is losing my mop!