Scrubs Season 2 Episode 16: "My Karma" Quotes
Carla: What do you do when you get scared?
Dr. Cox: Run away, get a divorce, drink alone... You know, the classics.
Janitor: All right, gentlemen, either of you in the market for a van? Five hundred bucks.
Turk: The windshield cost that much.
Janitor: Oh. Eight hundred.
J.D.: No thanks.
Janitor: Come on... There's still half a deer in the back! I think that's a deer.
Elliot: I can't take it, Carla! I cannot hide the crazy a minute longer! And the worst part is, Paul is this sweet, perfect guy who actually wants to take things slow with me, and I'm just this big mountain of cuckoo who's about to erupt and spew molten crazy all over him, and he's gonna die like this.
Carla: Calm down, Elliot. Do what I used to do - find people who don't even know Paul, and then just let it out in little bursts.
Dr. Kelso: Good afternoon, ladies!
Elliot: You know, when I was a kid, I got a sunburn like that and just peeled all the skin off, put it in a pile, and ate it.
Dr. Kelso: Good Lord!
Jordan: I don't know that many straight guys that wear cologne.
J.D.: I'm down to one spritz.
J.D.: Look, Dr. Cox asked me to check in on you; I'm sorry I haven't been here until now.
Jordan: He asked you to... check in on me?
J.D.: Yep. So...? How ya doin'?
Jordan: Well, I have ruined everything! All he tried to do was take care of me and show me that he loved me. But, no, I had to drive him away because I don't like being vulnerable even when I'm normal, let alone with my ankles in stirrups and my coochie on display. So, now he's gone away for good; and I would really like to get this stupid thing out of me so I can go home and kill myself!
J.D.: Well, you sound good.
Jordan: I was going to tell him the truth eventually, I just wanted to see if he was going to be with me because he wanted to, not because he had to. Do you know what I mean?
J.D.: What are you talking about?
Jordan: It's his baby, stupid! Don't tell anyone
Ted: I honestly don't know what put the idea of golfing on the roof in my head!
Todd: Dude! It is so nice out here! You mind if I take it down to the banana hammock?