Scrubs Season 2 Episode 5: "My New Coat" Quotes
Mr. Blair: You got me in the I.C.U. for a cold?
J.D.: Mr. Blair, you have a severe sinus infection, with orbital extension; you were admitted delirious from your hundred and six degree temperature, completely naked and very adamant about staying that way.
Mr. Blair: I was hot.
Laverne: I'll second that. Mm-hmmm.
Dr. Kelso: Sharp coat, sport.
J.D.: Oh, yeah. It's spiffy!
Dr. Cox: Shocker, Big Bob - you care more about appearances than actual-
Dr. Kelso: Better finish that thought quickly, Perry, I'm not breaking my gait.
Dr. Cox: Just saying: Substance, style, what's important, coat, not-
Dr. Kelso: Ha! Ha! Ha! Too slow!
J.D.: Think you really got through to him.
Dr. Cox stops and turns.
J.D.: Oh, my God, you hear like a bat!
Carla: How's the back, Sweetness?
Turk: Perfect. Baby, I'm sorry the last couple of nights I haven't been able to give you the regular dose of the Turky jerky; but you rest assured your man will be back in action before you know it.
Carla: You go ahead and take your time.
J.D.: You know, you guys are getting to be like Starsky and Hutch.
Turk: That'd be true if Starsky was a ventriloquist and Hutch was a tiny puppet.
J.D.: I would watch that show.
J.D.: Why do you keep ending up with that guy?
Turk: Because the other surgeons are busting my chops for skipping guys' night out.
J.D.: Oh, what, ending up with Dr. Amato is like a punishment or something?
Turk: No, dude; I actually enjoy needing you to lower me on the toilet in the morning.
Elliot: Well, Mrs. Bumbry, I wish I had better news, but, unfortunately, you didn't qualify for the G.I. clinical trial, so we'll just keep plugging away.
Mrs. Bumbry: Great. So, how was the sex with that guy?
Elliot: What guy? I was- I wa- I was- I wasn't-
Carla: Elliot. I have other patients, Mrs. Bumbry needs a nap, we're all very busy...
Elliot: I have never done anything like this; I just met him and slept with him! POW!
Mrs. Bumbry: God, I miss one-night stands.
Elliot: The best thing was, since I knew it was just a fling, I wasn't afraid to ask him for exactly what I wanted.
Carla: Which was?
Elliot: Shirt on, lights off, no talking.
Carla: Well, you just be careful - you wouldn't believe how quickly a reputation can be made in this hospital.
Mrs. Bumbry: You're a bit of a slut, aren't you?
Laverne: She slept with him, and she hardly knew him.
Mr. Blair: Does that happen a lot around here?
Laverne: Not enough.
J.D.: Mr. Blair, that infection keeps hanging around so I wanna put you on a broader spectrum antibiotic that we'll administer intravenously.
Mr. Blair: But I'm feeling a lot better.
J.D.: I'm gonna tell you something my mom used to tell me whenever I was scared: In the case of severe sinus infection not responding to a three day cycle of antibiotics, the recommended protocol is Imipenem, 500 milligrams, I.V.q. six hours. Got me through a lot of hard times.
Janitor: How's it goin'?
J.D.: You can't wear that!
Janitor: What, you mean after Labor Day? Eh.
J.D.: You know what I mean!
Janitor: It's a white coat. Anybody can wear a white coat.
J.D.: Jerk!
Carla: You okay, Mrs. Bumbry?
Mrs. Bumbry: I liked Bow Wow when he was Lil' Bow Wow.
Dr. Cox: Oh, she's right - rappers, they grow up so fast.
Dr. Cox: Look, Carla, if you're gonna survive in medicine, you've got to accept the fact that rules are rules. Hey! Anyone from that clinical trial around? Hello? Hello?... Yeah, this lady's supposed to be in this trial.
Orderly: Okay.
Carla: What the hell did you just do?
Dr. Cox: When you speak of this - and I know you will - could I be shirtless? See, I think it would be more impressive if I was shirtless.
J.D.: Look, all I'm saying is, if you are a criminal, even if you aren't afraid of Starsky, if you round a corner and a tiny little Hutch puppet jumps out at your face - "Freeze, sucka!" - you're done for, it's over.
Turk: Does it have a real gun or a puppet gun?
J.D.: Puppet gun. They'd sew it to its hand.
Turk: Okay, I'd watch that.
