Carla: Baby look at this, I'm starting to look like a big fat pregnant lady.
Turk: No you're not, baby. You look like you just let yourself go a little.
(Carla begins to cry uncontrollably)
Turk: This past few days your moods have changed like that!
Carla: That is not true!
(Carla slaps the hell out of him)
Turk: That's cool...
Carla: I'm sorry. Let me kiss that owee. Kiss the owee... Baby...oh baby... I wanna do it right now.
Turk: You don't wanna do it right now? This'll pass.
Carla: This is happening.
Turk: Damn right this is happening.
(Turk begins to remove his clothes and Carla sits down)
Carla: My mom. I can't believe she'll never meet her grandchild.
Turk: Do you wanna start out with kissing or should we go right into the good stuff?
Carla: What is wrong with you?
(Carla pushes him over a table)
Turk: When will you learn?

Elliot: I am wearing red. Should I not be wearing red around her?
Turk: She's pregnant, she's not a bull.

J.D.: Gift Shop Girl?
Lisa: Hey J.D.
J.D.: I thought you died.
Lisa: No, I just got married.
J.D.: But I sent your family flowers.
Lisa: I know. You bought them from me. It was kind of weird.

And then the ultimate Cox-block.

J.D.

Scrubs Season 5 Episode 23 Quotes

Dr. Kelso: You know the difference between you and me, Dorian?
J.D.: Your melon-sized prostate, sir?

I'll do it. I shouldn't be mopping in here anyway...this is a rug.

Janitor