Scrubs Season 5 Episode 7: "My Way Home" Quotes
Turk: Sir, I was watching that.
Dr. Kelso: Well, why don't I just tell you what happened: Uncle Phillip gets Webster the dog despite George and Ma'am's objections. It was a good one.
Dr. Cox: But, trust me, when you do have your own kid, you won't feel that way.
Carla: Yeah? Why? What'll be different?
Dr. Cox: He'll be yours.
You don't understand. I didn't dump him on the Janitor because I was busy. I dumped him on him because he was working my last nerve and I wanted to smoosh his face.Carla
Mr. Bolger: Okay, next question-
Turk: With all those topical treatments, let's just say I wasn't completely functional.
Mr. Bolger: Why are all surgical residents being so relentless about my son's heart?
Turk: Because whichever one of us convinces you to pull the plug and donate his heart gets to assist in the transplant.
Yeah... the little nipper got ahold of a paint gun when I was painting this green line down to the smoker's lounge. Thanks to him, I only got halfway down.Janitor
Turk: Dude, it was awful. I couldn't stop lying to them. I only have two moves! If surgery goes well, the fake modest nod and wink. Now, if surgery goes bad and the guy dies, there's always the headshake-sad-walk-away.
J.D.: Turk! Toto and I are going home.
J.D.: Okay! I'll help!
A hospital can sometimes feel like a magical place, where peoples' hopes and dreams are often far from ordinary.J.D.'s Narration
Carla: I just don't see what's so adorable; I mean, "Yay! You made a poopy in the potty!" I'm supposed to be impressed? There's a monkey at the zoo who can do that. I mean, you know, when he's not playing with himself.
J.D.: Well, if you don't wanna have a baby, Carla, don't have a baby.
Carla: But, J.D., I wanna have a child with Turk more than anything in the world. I know it's crazy, but I'm a girl - that's how we roll.
Carla: J.D., I have to admit this to somebody: I don't like kids!
J.D.: What are you talking about? You're the most maternal person I know.
Carla: Well, I'm a nurse, J.D. I'm trained to fake it!
Turk: Anyway, I gotta talk to the Bolger family about getting their son's heart, but I can't find 'em anywhere.
Laverne: Oh, they're in the doctors' lounge.
Turk: Oh my God, Laverne, I love you! Listen, if any other surgeon asks about them, you send them someplace else - the cafeteria, the zoo, I don't care! I'm goin' to get my heart!
None of you will be assisting on anything, because we still don't have a donor heart. Last night, Mr. Bolger here was declared brain-dead. We have to convince his family to pull the plug and give us his heart. Whichever one of you Benihana rejects pulls this off gets the operation... Go!Dr. Kelso
Dr. Kelso: Now, on your feet. They need you in the O.R. to assist on the heart transplant.
Turk: The Bolgers said yes?
Dr. Kelso: Mr. Bolger wanted you to have this.
He hands Turk a card.
Turk: His son's driver's license?
Dr. Kelso: Turn it over.
J.D.'s Narration: Every so often, a wizard comes along and tells you exactly what you need to hear.
Turk turns the license over to reveal a small heart-shaped icon on the back which reads "DONOR".
Dr. Kelso: Seems like you had a heart all along!