Seinfeld Season 3 Episode 20: "The Good Samaritan" Quotes
He's finished! I'm going to sew his ass to his face! I'm going to twist his neck so hard his lips will be his eyebrows! I'm going to break his joints, and reattach them!
Michael
If you want to make a person feel better after they sneeze, you shouldn't say 'God bless you.' You should say 'You're so good looking!
Jerry
I don't think I'm special. My mother always said I'm not special.
George
(about hit-and-run drivers) You know they're mentally disturbed. They should be sent to Australia.
Kramer
George: I am speechless. Speechless! I have no speech.
*later*
Elaine: I am speechless! I am without speech.
George: Oh, my God. I must be crazy. What have I done?
Robin: Oh no, what's wrong?
George: What's wrong? I'll tell you what's wrong. I just committed adultery!
Robin: You didn't commit adultery, I did.
George: Oh, yeah.
Robin: If I didn't do it with you, I would have done it with someone else.
George: Well, I wouldn't want you to do that. You know there's a lot of
losers out there.
Robin: Maybe even someone who didn't say 'God bless you'.
Robin: *sneeze*
George: *pauses* God bless you.
Robin: Thank you.
George: (motions to husband) I wasn't going to say anything, but then I could see that he wasn't going to open his mouth. *snorts*
Elaine: Michael called me today, and he asked me where Robin was.
George: Yeah, okay.
Elaine: And I said I hadn't seen her.
George: What?!
Elaine: No, no George! You don't understand! She didn't tell me she was using me as an excuse! Okay?! But then I realized what was going on, and I said that she left a note. Um, but he didn't really buy that. And then, and then he did mention your name.
George: He mentioned my name?! What did he say?!
Elaine: He said he was going to sew your @$$ to your face.
Oh... a matador... Uno Momento Por Favor.
Jerry
An affair? That's so adult. It's like martinis and stockings and William Holden.
George
Michael: You think you're so damn special because you say "God Bless You?"
George: No, I don't. I don't think I'm special. My mother always said I'm not special.
George: I was brought up to say "God Bless you."
(Jerry sneezes)
George: Oh, shut up!
