Seinfeld Season 4 Episode 10: "The Virgin" Quotes
Every time I think I'm out, they pull me back in!
George
This whole sex thing is totally overrated. Now, the one thing you gotta be ready for is how the man changes into a completely different person five seconds after it's over. I mean, something happens to their personality. It's really quite astounding. It's like they committed a crime and they want to flee the scene before the police get there.
Elaine
She's got a big crush on David Letterman, I mean a big crush. She talks about him all the time. Suppose I go up to David Letterman. He works at NBC, I work at NBC. I explain my situation. He agrees to meet her. They go out. They fall madly in love. And she dumps me for David Letterman!
George
(George just found out that Susan was fired)
George: This is great! He fired her! This is incredible, he fired her. I'm out, baby! I'm out!
Jerry: Why did he fire her?
George: Because I kissed her in the meeting. Russell found out, he fired her over the phone. Finally, my stupidity pays off!
Elaine: Marla and I went out for coffee and afterwards I was crossing the street and he was biking right towards me. So I got out of the way just in time, but then he ran into a parked car. He hit his head and everything went flying.
George: Something happened to the food?!!
George: Hey, what about this? I'm in a car accident. The motorist is uninsured, you with me?
Jerry: Yeah.
George: My car's totaled. It's all his fault and now, he has absolutely no money. There is no way that he can pay me. So the judge decrees that he becomes my butler.
I don't think I could do it. You know, they always remember the first time. I don't want to be remembered. I wanna be forgotten.
George
Jerry: This is your plan?
George: No, no. I'm just thinking.
Jerry: I don't think you are.
you know, it's a very interesting situation. Here you have a job that can get you girls. But, you also have a relationship. But if you try and get rid of the relationship so you can get the girls, you lose the job. You see the irony?
Jerry
Jerry: Let me ask you something. When's the last time you went skiing?
George: About six years ago.
Jerry: I think you can take the lift ticket off your jacket now.
George: Women like skiers.
Jerry: Let me ask you this: is there any Tampax in your house?
George: Yeah
Jerry: Well, I'll tell you what you got here. You got yourself a girlfriend.
George: Oh no!
Jerry: So your boyfriend never came back from Berlin?
Marla: Never came back.
Jerry: Oh, you must have been devastated being left for a wall.
