South Park
Wednesdays 10:00 PM on Comedy CentralSouth Park Season 5 Episode 2: "Cripple Fight" Quotes
Cartman: Yeah, we're gonna use him to help raise money in our bake sale.
Stan: Cartman, don't say "use him," you big silly goose.
Randy: (to Stan) What did you say?!
Stan: I just called Cartman a name. He's a, he's a silly goose.
Randy: YOU DO NOT SAY "BIG SILLY GOOSE!" You call him an asshole like a normal kid!
Stan: But Dad, I was just trying to --
Randy: STANLEY, YOU CALL YOUR FRIEND AN ASSHOLE THIS INSTANT!
Stan: (to Cartman) Asshole.
Randy: That's better!
Cartman: (quietly) Don't call me an asshole, you son of a bitch.
You dirty motha-*bleep*!!!!
Jimmy
You know, sometimes people ask me, "Are you angry at God for making disabled people?" I say, "No, I think the world is better with P-President Bush."
Jimmy
Stan: Was your dad in Scouts, Cartman? Oh yeah, you don't have a dad. (everyone laughs but Cartman)
Cartman: That's not funny! Jesus Christ!
Reporter: (on TV) In other news, the FBI has finally caught the child molester known as Mr. Slippyfist. This sick child molester was found with disturbing graphic photos of young boys naked, which we will show you now. Here's one. And here's another.
Stuart: (notices picture) Kenny?
(to Big Gay Al) Get your big gay ass off the couch and come be our scoutmaster again!
Cartman
Man: Well how gay is he?
Stuart: He's really, really gay.
(on P.A. system) Attention, shoppers. Outside, we have cripple fight. Cripple fight outside!
Cartman
(people run out of the store to see it)
Just because somebody's gay, doesn't mean they molest children. Straight people do that too.
Randy
(the boys protest)
Stan: What do we want?
Boys: Gays in Scouts!
Stan: When do we want it?
Timmy: Timmy!
Well, you know what I say about kids, they're all pink on the inside.
Mr. Grazier
What if I promise not to be gay anymore? Pinky swear?
Big Gay Al
