Grandma Cartman: Mom, could you say grace?
Great-Grandma Cartman: Goddammit, why do I always have to be the one who says grace?! If one more person asks me to say grace, I'll be like: "Ey! I'm not saying grace, and if you try to make me, I'll kick you square in the nuts!"

• Permalink: Mom, could you say grace? Ey! I'm not saying grace, and if you...
• Added: February 16, 2010

Mister Hankey kicks ass!

Cousin Elwin

• Permalink: Mister Hankey kicks ass!
• Added: February 16, 2010

Charles Manson: (after Kenny was shot to death by the police) Oh my god! They killed the little orange coat kid!
Kyle: You bastards!

• Permalink: Oh my god! They killed the little orange coat kid! You bastard...
• Added: February 16, 2010

Cartman's Grandma: (as they haul her son back to the pokey) Watch that ass in prison, son.
Uncle Howard: Always do, mom. Always do.

• Permalink: Watch that ass in prison, son. Always do, mom. Always do.
• Added: February 16, 2010

Dude, this is pretty f**ked up right here.

</i> Stan

• Permalink: Dude, this is pretty f**ked up right here.
• Added: February 16, 2010

Grandma: I thought that shirt would look really good on you.
Cartman: Are you telling me I drove nine hours through butt-f**king nowhere to get a GODDAMN SHIRT?! Mom, Grandma's gone senile, time to stick her in a home.

• Permalink: I thought that shirt would look really good on you. Are you te...
• Added: February 16, 2010

You can't just buy people Mr. Potter. You know what you are? You're a little bitch. That's right, you're a bitch and I'll bet you'd like to suck it, wouldn't you?

Jimmy Stewart

• Permalink: You can't just buy people Mr. Potter. You know what you are? Y...
• Added: February 16, 2010

(singing) Holidays are that special time when we laugh and sing and feel warm and cozy. Forget about being angry for a day. Remember how it felt to be a child, opening presents on Christmas morning? That's the way that we should all feel now. So I say, happy, happy, happy, holy, happy, happy, happy, happy holidays! (Happy, happy, happy, holy, happy, happy, happy, happy holidays!) Happy Kwanzaa, too, from me to you. Happy holidays, you guys.

Charles Manson

• Permalink: Holidays are that special time when we laugh and sing and feel w...
• Added: February 16, 2010

Charles Manson: Come on, I'll hotwire your grandpa's car.
Stan: Do you really think we should go with this guy?
Cartman: Stan, don't be such a dumbass, you have to trust people.

• Permalink: Come on, I'll hotwire your grandpa's car. Do you really think ...
• Added: February 16, 2010

...We understand that there are hostages, and that the situation is critical, so we would like to remind you all that this live hostage crisis is being brought to you by Palmoral sun block. Remember, if it isn't Palmoral, you're going to get cancer.

News reporter

• Permalink: ...We understand that there are hostages, and that the situation...
• Added: February 16, 2010

Cop 1: (into megaphone) Manson, we know you're in there. Come out peacefully and we'll shoot you.
Cop 2: (whispers) Tell him we won't shoot him.
Cop 1: Oh, yeah. That's a good idea. (into megaphone) Come out peacefully and we WON'T shoot you.

• Permalink: Manson, we know you're in there. Come out peacefully and we'll s...
• Added: February 16, 2010