South Park
Wednesdays 10:00 PM on Comedy CentralSouth Park Season 2 Episode 11: "Roger Ebert Should Lay Off the Fatty Foods" Quotes
Cartman: I could sing the cheesy poof song with both hands tied behind my back!
Kyle: You couldn't get both hands behind your back, fatty!
Cartman: But Mr. Garrison, I have to go and sing the Cheesy Poofs song!
Mr. Garrison: No Eric, you have to come in the Planetarium and look at a bunch of stupid stars.
Fat ass Cartman was not on the school bus today, what a big fat turd.
Kyle
Why hello. If it isn't my little friends with all their little dreams.
Cartman
Mr. Garrison: Now what's wrong with the Planetarium?
Stan: It's boring.
Kyle: Yeah, all the constellations look alike.
Mr. Garrison: Well too bad. You're all going to the planetarium tomorrow and you're all going to love it.
Dr. Adams: Hi, I'm Dr. Adams, and welcome to the Plane'arium.
Stan: I thought this was the planetarium.
Dr. Adams: It is, I have a bone disease that prevents me from saying the 't' in Plane'arium.
Cartman: Hey, they're giving out bread outside!
Poor girl: Finally we can get something to eat.
(when the poor girl and her mom walk outside, Cartman shuts the door)
Cartman: Psych!!
Mrs. Cartman: Hon, don't pick your nose.
Cartman: God dammit, I'm not picking it. I have an itch for crying out loud.
Now stars are actually made of hot gas, which is exactly what comes out of Roger Ebert's ass.
Dr. Adams
Man Singing: I love Cheesy Poofs. You love Cheesy Poofs. If we didn't love Cheesy Poofs, we'd all be...
Cartman: (flatly)...Lame.
(After Kenny's head explodes)
Stan: Oh my God! We've killed Kenny!
Kyle: We're bastards!
Nurse Gollum: This is the strangest thing I've ever seen.
Mr. Mackey: Please, Nurse, for a woman with a dead fetus on her head you're not being very open-minded.
