Garrett: Attention all Cloud 9 employees in all departments—please report to the breakroom for pizza. Because apparently, now, everyone gets pizza. Never mind that the basic infrastructure of this country makes it so that one group of people gets way more pizza than others! Or that some of us spend over four hundred years forcibly making pizza for white people!
Dina: This isn't about pizza, is it?
Jonah: No, I don't think so.
Isaac: Yes, I love pizza!

Oh yeah, it takes a lot of courage to make a gesture this small this late in the game.


Garrett: Anyway, the point is, I—I'm just so sorry, and I wish there was something I could do to make it up to the black employees. Any ideas?
Garrett: For how to apologize to black people?

Dina: I think a lot of us want to help, but we just have blind spots when it comes to this stuff. I mean, when I was growing up, we were told the goal was to not see race.
Garrett: Okay, see, I don't know who started telling white people that -- I'm assuming it was other white people -- but you shouldn't ignore race. You should be aware of how being black affects our daily lives.

Garrett: You do realize the hair products thing isn't the end of racism? It's not even the end of racism in the store.
Dina: Oh, is this because Karen started here last week? Because she's willing to go by Jill.
Garrett: What? No! Don't you think it's messed up that we've never had a black district manager? Or that the employee handbook limits our hair length to three inches in diameter? That basically means no afros.
Dina: I guess I just never thought about any of this stuff. I mean, you've never brought it up before.
Garrett: It's not my job to call out every racist thing I come up against! It's my job to announce sales and pretend not to notice when people return used swimsuits.

I just wanted to change a couple of racist policies. I didn't sign up to teach a bunch of grown-ass white people about racism.


Garrett: So this is the kind of stuff we're working to address with this list.
Dina: Uh, uh. Forget the list; we can get back to the list. The personal stories are breaking through! Give us another one!
Garrett: So you just want me to tell more stories about messed up that happen because I'm black?
Dina: Exactly. Hit us with a big one!

Dina: Man, I just thought I'd be so good at this.
Mateo: I'm sorry. Do you wanna talk about it?
Dina: I just did. Oh, you mean more? God, no. Look, I don't understand why everybody wants to talk everything to death. Like, whatever happened to just taking a baseball bat to your neighbor's trash can?

Mateo: This job is hard enough. People need to talk, to vent, to feel heard! It's like they're emotionally constipated, and some of them are very physically bloated as well.
Dina: What, so, because I'm manager, I have to help people poop their emotions all over the place?

Garrett: I'm not talking about that; I'm talking about you bailing on work.
Jonah: You bail on work all the time!
Garrett: I don't bail on work. I half-ass it; there's a difference.

Okay, I'm manager today, so if they smelt it, it's as though I dealt it. I need you two to locate this and eliminate it.


Look, I get that Glenn likes to coddle everyone, but it is my store today. So while I have the chance, I am going to do everything the right way.


Superstore Quotes

It was nice of corporate to wait an entire week before they reminded us we're just as replaceable as Mateo.


Jonah: I think he likes Taylor Swift.
Cheyenne: No, he's back to hating her again.