Ben: You could have texted me, you know, and let me know you were coming.
Barbara: Well, I didn’t want to give you a head start.

He’s a good guy. It’s just the way I see things is changing, and I don’t know if he’s willing to change with me.

Darlene

Becky, stop. If you don’t go back to rehab, you’re not just screwing up your own life. You’re screwing up Beverly Rose’s. I had to grow up with an alcoholic father. I never brought friends around because he would always embarrass me, and when he went out at night, I used to pray that he wouldn’t die in a car crash. And then, when things got really bad, I prayed that he would. So, you really want to put Beverly Rose through that?

Jackie

Becky: What if I can’t do what they’re asking me to do?
Dan: Oh, you’re as stubborn as I am, but you’re also as tough as I am. You need to go back there and just get this done. If you don’t try, you know where this goes.

Barbara: I didn’t mean to upset her.
Dan: Well, you’ve got to be careful around the insane.

Jeff: You know, we’re all carbon-based beings. If you added any more pressure, you could turn into a diamond. I learned that in Superman comics.
Darlene: I hadn’t pegged you as a reader.

Well, Jeff, welcome to Wellman Plastics. Congratulations on being late your first day.

Darlene

In this family, you can bat a pretty good average by assuming the worst.

Darlene

[to Beverly Rose] Okay, it’s official. Between taxes and bills, by the time I save enough money to go to school, you and I will be starting college together.

Becky

Dan: I thought I was done picking you kids up after you’d done something stupid.
Darlene: You told me that you would give me a ride any time and that you wouldn’t judge me.
Dan: You were 14! That offer expires after you’ve had your second kid.

You and your sister better get your crap together. This night could have ended a lot differently with the baby in the hospital and your car wrapped around a tree.

Dan

[to Becky] You know I felt alone all day, and then I sit here, and I talk to you, and I realize how much better that was.

Darlene

The Conners Quotes

Mark: It's been three weeks since Grannie Rosie's funeral, why are people still giving us casseroles?
Harris: And why do people bring casseroles when somebody dies?

Jackie: What was this, tuna casserole or potato salad?
Darlene: It doesn't matter. It's just stuff and mayonnaise.