Stop playing it cool. You want her, go to her and say I want you. I’ll protect you. You don't owe your husband anything. Be happy. Come to me. Make me happy.


I was here to tell the truth. What are you here to do?


Alicia: Were you wanting me to cry, Mr. Canning? Oh my God, (fake sob) I thought my husband no longer cheated.
Louis Canning: Wow. God, I love you.
Alicia: I know.

Designer: I designed your offices, now I want to bring them into the 21st century.
David Lee: This is the 21st century.
Designer: No. You're deluding yourself. Pale wood, glass. This is an Apple store circa 2009.
David Lee: That is the 21st century.

I've defended enough people to know how shallow those words are. I don't care what you believe. I care what you can prove.


Peter: He hates me, he has for years.
Diane: I know. This is not going to be a cake walk.

I think you have to handle this. I've been drinking.


Jackie: I won't be seeing you again.
Alicia: Why not?
Jackie: You're divorcing my son and I just wanted you to know, we're more alike than not.

Alicia: Zack, this is the stupidest thing I've heard you say in a while.
Zack: Thanks Mom.
Alicia: And there have been some pretty stupid things.

There's a funeral somewhere that's getting flowers saying Congratulations Howard and Jackie.


You are easily swayed by pretty, young, blonde, Republicans.


Michael: What's the difference between inept and incompetent?
Jason: About six letters