Marina: You see? This is why I don’t hang out with you people.
Zelda: But on the bright side, we were pitch perfect.

George: Thank you Henry.
Fogg 17: George, my pleasure.
Paloma: On our new world, you can have your own island.
Fogg 17: No, I want my own goddamn country.
Paloma: Fine.

Penny: I spent my whole life thinking my mom was a basket case. You’re telling me she’s fine.
Julia: She was fine with me. We need to see how she is with you. Look, I won’t pretend I can even imagine what this is like for you, but you won’t be alone.

Zelda: He must have been in range of the spell.
Marina: So I have to run a heist with a pig in my head?
Margo: What’s the shit with the gun?
Sir Effingham: It is to put in the hands of a hero who will do what is just and necessary.
Eliot: Which is?
Sir Effingham: Assassinate she who plots to destroy Fillory: Julia Wicker.

Margo: I think I speak for the group in wondering why the fuck did we all Chorus Line?
Alice: And I heard all of you in my head, not just Marina.
Josh: Yeah, what the hell?
Zelda: Our circumstances are unstable. Our collective surge of emotion must have broken down some of the spells’ barriers. And as for the singing, well, it was designed by a conductor, and music is the purest manifestation of feeling.
Josh: So let me get this straight, every time we have a feeling, we’re gonna go full on Glee. That doesn’t seem ideal for, you know, a heist.

Fen: The first thing you have to do is explain why you want to build a new world.
George: To you?
Fen: To the seed. It’s alive, and in order to grow, it needs to know exactly what you want and why. The seed will know if you lie and refuse to grow.
Paloma: We’ve made powerful enemies here on earth, and one cursed us, making us…
George: Unable to have children. But on a new world, beyond the reach of our enemies, we hope to have a family.
Fen: Uh OK. I have to admit that’s not a motive I could have guessed, but do you really think you’d make the best parents?

Josh: I will kill Julia. You have my solemn word as a devout Catholic.
Sir Effingham: A hero has risen, with a most excellent singing voice.
Josh: Ha, well, we’ll karaoke in Fillory because it’s definitely not getting destroyed.

Penny: I need to know everything you went through. When did you start hearing voices?
Neela: About three months into the pregnancy. At first they thought it was a chemical imbalance, but after you were born I started to get worse. They said the stress of parenting brought on a latent psychological disorder, probably one I’d inherited. The first time I had to send you away… I hear myself say that and I still can’t believe I did it. I am so sorry.
Penny: Mom, I’m OK. I need you to tell me everything you can.
Neela: The voices went away when you did, and when you came back so did they. Every time you came back, there was less and less of the little boy.
Penny: Mom, this isn’t about me.
Neela: I wanted so much to raise you, love you, protect you, but what you needed protection from was me. What?
Penny: Mom?
Neela: I’m sorry. Someone’s calling me. What is it? What do you need?
Penny: Mom, there’s no one calling you.
Neela: Of course there is. It must be one of my patients. There’s more of them. You don’t hear them? They’re screaming.
Penny: I don’t.
Neela: Oh no, no, no, no, not again. Please stop.

Zelda: Well, there’s the conductor spell. Created by a conductor who was going blind so he and his orchestra could still communicate.
Josh: Wouldn’t all those voices be kind of confusing?
Zelda: Each musician only hears the conductor but never one another.
Fen: I’m totally sure I don’t understand and totally sure it’s going to work.
Alice: Why wouldn’t it set off the hotel protections?
Zelda: The spell was designed to help artists, so by nature, it’s innocuous.
Margo: You’ll be the conductor then?
Zelda: I would, but I don’t know the hotel, not like…
Alice: So wait, not only are we breaking into a hotel of horrors but our conductor has to be a psychopath.
Marina: Sociopath, technically.

Marina: Magnus Delacord.
Kady: Top hedge West Coast.
Marina: Best friends, George and Paloma Ball.
Margo: The Balls.
Eliot: Explains why they go by the Couple.

Julia: You’re not crazy Neela. Look, magic is real. I’m a magician, and so is your son. But he’s a rare breed with this link that they have to their mothers. Every time they’re close by their abilities start to bleed over.
Neela: Stop, stop, stop. Just stop.
Julia: My baby has the same abilities as Penny, which means it causes the same problems.
Neela: This isn’t happening.
Julia: This is happening. Look, I swear. I know I’m asking a lot but if you could just take a chance and let me help you, you could have your son back, get to know your grandchild. Wouldn’t that be worth it?
Neela: I can’t. I can’t go through this again. It’ll kill me. Tell William I’m sorry.

Eliot: Alice, whatever it is, whatever you’re feeling, you can…you can just tell me.
Alice: I just can’t stop thinking about what he did to me. I was so useless, so stupid.

The Magicians Quotes

Margo: Hey, who the fuck are you?
Plover: Cello squirrel daffodil.
Margo: OK.
Fen: Uh Margo, what are you doing?
Margo: Life lesson Fen: There’s always a point where you can decide that’s not my problem.
Plover: Sir Arthur Conan Doyle.
Margo: We have friends to save, a Dark King to re-kill. Hang with Mad Libs pedophile all you want. I’m going back to double-tap the motherfucker like he’s Osama, and I’m Seal Team Bitch.

This dragon better be fucking cool.