The Sopranos Quotes
Carmela: In a year, tops, you're gonna have to accept a gumar.
Janice: Oh, yeah? Well I'd like to see a gumar who's gonna let him hold a gun to their head when they fuck.
Carmela: You let him hold a gun to your head during sex?
Janice: Yeah. Well, if that gets him off, I mean, it's not any different than garter belts and nurse's uniforms.
Carmela: Well, it's a gun, Janice. I thought you were a feminist.
Janice: Usually he takes the clip out.
Tony: How many jobs have you had in this lifetime?
Janice: Enough to know I don't want another one.
Carmela: What the hell happened over there?
Tony: Janice decided to go back to Seattle.
Carmela: You're kidding. What about Richie? He must be devastated.
Tony: Richie's gone.
Carmela: What do you mean gone?
Tony: Gone.
Carmela: Where?
Tony: Carmela, after 18 years of marriage, don't make me make you an accessory after the fact.
Carmela: An accessory after the...(realizes) Holy shit!
(to Richie) Those who want respect, give respect.
Tony
Tony: You don't sell that shit around those routes, you hear me?
Richie: I'm workin' with Junior on this.
Tony: I don't give a shit if you're workin' with Wal-Mart. Knock it the fuck off.
(to Richie) Don't give me your fucking 'Manson lamps.'
Tony
(A garbage driver has dumped garbage outside a complaining customer's mini-mart)
Richie: You called to complain yesterday? That's our policy, it's written on the side of our trucks. Double your garbage back if you're not satisfied.
Siraj: I complained because you didn't make full pickups on 12/16 and 20, and then I get charged double!
Richie: Yeah, we had to come out twice. (laughs)
Siraj: You charged me for pickups you missed.
Richie: My dispatcher asked you: if you're not satisfied, did you want your garbage back?
Siraj: Of course I don't want garbage back!
Richie: Then you're satisfied!
Siraj: You're talking shit to me.
The feds are a business, Anthony. Millions of tax dollars invested in watching your ass. Sooner or later, just like you, they're going to want a return on that investment.
Neil
Livia: It's not easy being abandoned, is it?
Junior: Look to yourself.
Bobby: (on Catherine) She seems all right.
Junior: What the hell would we talk about? Bunions? You know how I feel about feet.
I'm not a cat. I don't shit in a box.
Junior
Tony: You know we're the only country where the pursuit of happiness is guaranteed in writing? Do you believe that? A bunch of fucking spoiled brats. Where's my happiness then?
Dr. Melfi: It's the pursuit that's guaranteed.
Tony: Yeah, always a fucking loophole.
