Grace: After the past year, I want to feel normal again.
Wade: I get that. I want to feel normal, too. That's why I started dating again. To get back to myself.

Men are a commodity. Trust me.

Meg

I had no idea dating would be so complicated.

Wade

Michelle: I'm not nice. Delia's not nice.
Delia: I'm nice.

  • Permalink: I'm nice.
  • Added:

Are you girls good with brownies for dinner?

Wade

Michelle: You are a unicorn.
Wade: A what?
Michelle: A unicorn. You know that elusive creature that all single women are looking for? See, most of the men on these dating sites are having midlife crisis, they're getting divorced, buying Porches. They're hooking up with 25-year-olds.
Delia: You're a devoted father, you are a devoted husband, and not for nothing but you haven't had sex with anybody besides Jill in over 20 years. So, you're factory fresh, buddy.

Stop judging me. You have one kid and compared to four kids, one kid is like having no kids.

Michelle

We know it's a punch in the gut, but maybe it's time to move on with your life.

Forrest

Sometimes pity dates leads to pity sex.

Forrest