How am I supposed to connect with a kid from Texas? I can't fish or hunt, or tell a woman what to do with her fetus.

Jack

I just found out my youth obsessed best friend has a grandson. I am obligated to torture you, it's in the contract.

All I'm saying is that if you don't start dating it's going to turn into a fireplace you never use. Open up the flue and put a big log in there.

Karen

Grace, you work too much and you're not dating. It's Saturday morning; you should be slinking home with your contacts in a shot glass, scratches on your back and itches on your front.

Karen

You were the one who joined Doctors Without Borders, met a blonde and it became Doctors Without Pants!

Will: You know what this is like?
Grace: Oh, is this going to have something to do with Princess Di?
Will: I think we both know the answer to that. Remember how we both hated Camila Parker Bowles?
Grace: We were young; we rushed to judgement.
Will: Exactly. Everyone thought she was the villain because she broke up this storybook romance.
Grace: Do not forget the hats.
Will: I wish I could. But all she really did was help Charles realize that the storybook wasn't true.
Grace: Wait, who's Princess Diana in this situation? Leo?
Will: Sadly, yes. And I’m Camila.

Will: It must be bad news. Grace, we're going to get through this together. I'll shave my head. Do you need me to shave my head?
Grace: No, no, the test was negative. I don't have cancer.
Will: Oh thank God. I have a weird skull.

Grace: Have you been crying?
Will: I went to the Princess Diana exhibit, which was amazing. But I bought remastered DVDs of the wedding and the funeral and I watched them back to back and now I'm eating my feelings.
Grace: How could you do that to yourself?
Will: She really was a candle in the wind.

Wait, you're eating bread? It's not a cheat day, what's wrong?

I thought about going into work but Grace is at the lady doctor and if there's anything I don't want to deal with is Grace and her angry inch.

Karen

Nurse: I'm sensing some tension here. Who cheated?
Grace: He did.
Nurse: Wow, seriously? That was just a shot in the dark.
Leo: It's a little bit more complicated than that.
Nurse: Is it?

I'm sorry, but in the words of my dear friend Amanda Bynes, where am I?

Jack

Will & Grace Quotes

I'm sorry, I guess some people age like an anchorman and others like a meth head mother of nine.

Will

Really, Grace? Peek a boo sleeves. Aren’t you begging someone to just peek and then boo?

Jack
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