Nedley: Gezz! Look, former invisible monster teen. Wear a bell, will you?
Billy: Um, so.
Rachel: Maybe.
Nedley: Wow. You two work out this whole presentation ahead of time?
Rachel: Please Randy.
Nedley: Okay. He can come. But, there's only going to be one kind of tent we're pitching on this trip.

Waverly: First wedding massacre, in 1922. Ah! A Ms. H, left at the altar, killed her guests
Nicole: Well that is a terrible way to be dumped on.
Waverly: Awful enough to want to destroy every future wedding in town?
Nicole: Baby, if you left me at the alter, I would fuck shit up. I might kill Nedly!
Waverly: Nicole!
Nicole: I'm kidding! I think.

Doc: Where did you buy your wedding gown? Jeremy and I are looking to procure matching cummerbunds.
Waverly: Aw! I got it at this adorably quaint little boutique down on Hogback Road.
Wynonna: Did she say quaint or taint?

Wynonna: The bride-to-be is vegan.
Nicole: Yes.
Wynonna: Buttercream is not vegan.
Nicole: Nope.
Wynonna: Ergo, Waverly can't eat her own wedding cake!
Nicole: Meh. What if we just didn't tell her?
Wynonna: This isn't a secret wife, Nicole. This is the matrimonial icing!

Dark Angel Waverly: Give it to me, and I shall return home.
Doc: You are home.
Dark Angel Waverly: So be it. I shall take it from you.
Doc: No.
Dark Angel Waverly: You dare to defy me?
Doc: I am doing this for my friend Waverly Earp. Now you get out of her.
Dark Angel Waverly: I am her.
Doc: No, you sure as shit ain’t.

Wynonna: Cleo, call them off. Call it all off. You can just leave.
Cleo: You know better than anyone you can never just leave the Ghost River Triangle, and for me, those things, always linked to my soul but not for long ‘cause I’m about to pass the torch off to our family’s greatest enemy.
Wynonna: No, don’t do this.
Cleo: And once you become heir, you will kill everyone who means anything to you, and the worst part, you’ll still be in there, watching yourself do it. Gonna like my poor brothers.
Wynonna: I don’t want to do this again, but I will shoot another human.

Dark Angel Waverly: You’ve seen what’s coming. You know what awaits you next.
Doc: I also know that Wynonna taught us there is always another way.

Mercedes: Guys, I am literally dying, and we all know I was born to be a vampire.
Jeremy: That is actually a good idea.
Doc: Are you sure?
Jeremy: If you don’t, she’s a goner.
Doc: I’ve never sired anyone before. I will need your express consent.
Jeremy: Consent is so important.
Mercedes: Vamp permission granted. Now get over here and suck me off already.

Wynonna: I’m going to find Waverly.
Billy: That’s Rachel’s blood.
Wynonna: We don’t know that.
Billy: Yes, I do. A Clanton can’t unreap another Clanton. Wynonna, she’s in danger.
Wynonna: I’m not going back to your ranch. The last time I was there… it’s a trap, kid.
Billy: Who cares? You have a magic gun, and Rachel needs you to save her. I severed the root. I got tortured by my own mom to save you.
Wynonna: You were trying to save Rachel.
Billy: So you owe me one, and you owe her a few.
Wynonna: There’s only one of me, man.
Billy: You’re Wynonna Earp. Rachel used to go on about you guys, how it was after you came back.
Wynonna: Yeah, I’m an asshole. I’m a mess.
Billy: She said it got better. You were awesome, and she’s not some powerful angel. She’s on her own. Waverly would want you.
Wynonna: Low blow, asshole junior. Let’s go.

Mercedes: My dental surgeon is going to kill me. Those veneers were fresh. Guess I could just drain him.
Jeremy: We really need to work on appetite suppression.
Mercedes: What are you, a 90s modeling agency? I will eat who I want. No more diets.

Rachel: Whatever choices Wynonna’s made, she has a plan, and I trust her.
Cleo: Oh, the only thing you should trust is that sick little feeling in your gut because that reaper in the fog with Wynonna, it is Billy.
Rachel: No, Wynonna wouldn’t do that to me.
Cleo: Billy may have pulled out his own tooth to save you, but Wynonna, she’s leading him to his death. I am not your enemy, Rachel, really. I just want to get the hell out of this place for good. And Wynonna, she is a shit just like every Earp before her.
Rachel: She’s good people, and she’s my family.
Cleo: OK, sweetie. But are you hers?

Wynonna: What did Jolene do to you?
Dark Angel Waverly: Jolene? Oh yes, the body’s other half. Well, I suppose she helped Waverly evolve.
Wynonna: Waverly Earp, you wipe that ethereal look off your face this minute. This is not an Neya video. I want my sister back.
Dark Angel Waverly: I have but one destination.
Wynonna: You do not walk away from me. I’ve been through hell to get you back, so if you think for a second you’re just gonna bail…
Dark Angel Waverly: The affairs of man are no longer my concern.
Wynonna: I’m no man. I’m the woman who will not watch you become this thing.
Dark Angel Waverly: As you wish.

Wynonna Earp Quotes

Graham: Listen to me, you can’t let them out. They’re monsters. This one’s a goddamn werewolf.
Nicole: He’s also my florist, and his name’s Freddie … You see here general, our town here, it’s pretty inclusive.
Graham: Yeah.
Nicole: Or at least from now on it’s going to be but not for your kind.
Graham: What is that, the military?
Nicole: Utter dick wads. Move it and lose it.
Graham: Just who the hell do you think you are?
Nicole: I’m the goddamn sheriff of Purgatory. You messed with the wrong damn town.

Black Badge is so far off the government grid, they're sub-Atlantis.

Eliza