Wynonna Earp
Fridays 10:00 PM on SyFyWynonna Earp Season 4 Episode 1: "On the Road Again" Quotes
You almost done? I feel like I’ve been standing here for two years.
Nedley
Nedley: You want to get a little more specific on our plan here, Warrior Princess?
Wynonna: Yeah, sure. Find and climb invisible stairs, yeat Waverly and Doc out of supernatural garden, uh, locate the rest of our squad, mosey on home, enjoy a curse-free life. And I’m going to look good doing it.
Nedley: You and me both.
Soldier: Attention citizens, you are being evacuated for your own safety. Come voluntary or be taken by force.
Jeremy: Not cool, bro. That’s not how the force works. Oh god, oh no, the Garden.
Soldier: Out of the way. Come out or we come in.
Jeremy: Uh, sorry, gays only.
Nedley: Found these.
Wynonna: Those are for the sisters, not the misters.
Nedley: Well, they absorb blood. I’m bleeding. Look, for heavy blow.
Wynonna: Is that why you’ve been so moody and unpredictable?
Nedley: That’s really sexist. I am a single dad of a girl who got her first period at 11, and I’ve been shot six times. Absorbent is as absorbent does.
Wynonna: Plus, they have wings.
Wynonna: We can use these beaver blasters.
Nedley: You know, now is not the time for marital aids.
Wynonna: It’s always time. These are for busting beaver dams or anything else that gets in our way.
Nedley: You got a sex toy that can find a mysterious place no one else can?
Wynonna: It’s called a G-spot, Nedley.
Merdeces: And then these manly black trucks surrounded my house and Kate, she was like, ‘No, you’re too beautiful die,’ [Hissing sound] and I was like, ‘No way. We are in this together.’
Wynonna: So you guys totally boinked?
Mercedes: Because I think she must have vampire mind-mushed me because the next thing I know, I’m running away from the house, totally against my will.
Wynonna: Are you sure your brain wasn’t pre-mushed?
Mercedes: So I decided to come here and wait for the friggin’ heir to show up.
Wynonna: Well, I’m the heir of anything any more, Mercedes. The curse is broken. I killed your demon hubby Bulshar.
Mercedes: That’s great. What did he leave me?
Wynonna: A disaster zone.
Nedley: What about Jeremy? You think he might have known Valdez?
Wynonna: They both rocked BBD lab coats.
Nedley: Could have been him that carved that in the wall.
Mercedes: He couldn’t have used a pen?
Wynonna: Nah, the pen drawer’s full of knives. I’m a demon hunter, not a Shakespeare.
Nedley: You listen to me, Wynonna Earp: Nobody fucks with our family.
Doc: You’re all right now.
Waverly: Doc, you came.
Doc: Of course.
Waverly: Thank you for sucking…
Doc: I do try, Waverly.
Waverly: Bulshar’s poison out of Wynonna’s throat.
Wynonna: I’ll forget about this, and you can just forget about the time I slipped you some Sleeping Beauties.
Nicole: Wynonna.
Wynonna: Listen, it’s ancient history.
Nicole: It was yesterday.
Wynonna: Oh right.
Nicole: What if I could have helped? Well, we’ll never know because you left me passed out on the floor.
Wynonna: You couldn’t have done anything.
Nicole: I just jumped off a friggin’ train.
Wynonna: They only got in ‘cause they’re special, so unless you’re like a bisexual angel or an undead gunslinger…
Nicole: Oh no, you don’t get to be the judge of who matters and who doesn’t.
Wynonna: True. I’m just a girl standing in front of a cop asking her to forgive me for slipping her a tiny little bit of roof-beer.
Nicole: Unbelievable.
Waverly: Are you out of your mind?
Doc: What other options do we have? This gentleman just self-decapitated.
Waverly: I’m going to barf.
Doc: Not until we try. You used your angel gumption to revive Julian.
Waverly: Doc, he has no head.
Doc: Well, the head is right there.
Wynonna: So, Miss ‘No More Secrets,’ what aren’t you telling me?
Nicole: Waverly proposed to me, and I believe the Romans call it ‘Wynonna interruptus.’
Wynonna: It’s more effective than the pill and a lot cheaper.
Nicole: That’s not how lesbianing works, Wynonna.
