Evil Troy: I've been counting our bullets. One of us it out.
Troy: Is it you?
Evil Troy: Yes.
Troy: Why would you tell me that?

I passed all the classes, so now I just do yoga while the teachers write down my wisdoms.

Troy

We're stranded here forever...and I've never seen Blue Man Group!...I did see Blue Man Group! I just didn't get it! Why can't they talk? They have so much in common!

Troy

So was that girl an alien, or a toddler with a growing disease?

Troy

I had to hitchhike home last night in a burrito truck. It's not as fun as it sounds.

Troy

Kevin doesn't know about labor laws, or forty hour work weeks, or that that guy named him after his dog.

Troy

Annie: Shirley! We were just-
Abed:-about to-
Troy:-eat garbage dip! Why did I have to go third??

Do we want [Abed] to freak out and have to rescue him from some fantasy world where submarines are small enough to enter the bloodstream?

Troy

Annie: I lost Abed!
Troy: I told you to never let him out of your sight! That goes double for holidays and wax museums!

My uncle put his finger in my no-no!

Troy

My uncle never put his finger in my plop-plop. I know, I'm bummed about it too.

Troy

I'm auditioning for Professor Garrity's all-black production of "Fiddler on the Roof." It's called "Fiddlah, Please!"

Troy

Community Quotes

Jeff: Everyone on this campus is nuts
Leonard [in pool]: Not me!
Jeff: Oh come on Leonard, if you're going to argue with me, put on a bathing suit
Leonard: Busted

I've loved you since there was only one Soviet Union and one Damon Wayans.

Andre