Michelle: You are a unicorn.
Wade: A what?
Michelle: A unicorn. You know that elusive creature that all single women are looking for? See, most of the men on these dating sites are having midlife crisis, they're getting divorced, buying Porches. They're hooking up with 25-year-olds.
Delia: You're a devoted father, you are a devoted husband, and not for nothing but you haven't had sex with anybody besides Jill in over 20 years. So, you're factory fresh, buddy.

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The Unicorn Season 1 Episode 1: "Pilot"
The Unicorn
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The Unicorn Season 1 Episode 1 Quotes

Stop judging me. You have one kid and compared to four kids, one kid is like having no kids.


Are you girls good with brownies for dinner?