Lim lays awake at 4:29 AM, at 5:17 AM...
She drives her motorbike rather recklessly to a scene where a pedestrian has been run over, and takes charge of his treatment at the hospital.
Claire wonders why Lim was riding her bike in that area of town at that time. Anyway, the guy has shrapnel lodged in his intestine.
Later, Claire is worried about Asher. Lim thinks it's fine. Claire thinks denial is not healthy.
Shaun doesn't want to teach anymore. Lim won't let him out of it but will supervise his supervision.
Meanwhile there's a woman with high anxiety who claims she is an empath and is just picking up on someone else's anxiety. However, when everone but Park leaves the room her heart rate goes down.
The pedestrian is freaking out. Apparently he is having a flashback from when he was in Afghanistan.
Lim calls Shaun over. She says Rosa is not his patient. She needs someone to do a D&C. Shaun talks to his student who doesn't want to do it because she's Christian. Olivia volunteers. Lim wants Shaun to supervise.
Lim talks to Zoey, who says that they have done all sorts of treatments for Ben's PTSD and it hasn't worked. Lim goes into her office where she is freaking out and hearing the sounds of people dying from Covid until she puts on her headphones and loud music.
Lim wants the stats on elective surgeries for her budget meeting. Her assistant is not there. Shaun wants some advice about Leah's gift. Jordan shows up and decides she wants to do the D&C anyway. Lim doesn't want to supervise Shaun and Jordan. Asher interrupts. Ben has pain in his arm. It is related to an injury when he was in Afghanistan. Lim wants to put him on opioids but he says he can't take them. Claire suggests an experimental ganglion block treatment.
Lim doesn't like that Claire suggested an experimental treatment. Meanwhile, Morgan comes along and criticizes Lim for letting Shaun and Jordan do the D&C. Lim says she'll help Jordan herself.
Rosa claims she can feel morning sickness. Park believes her. Lim does not.
Asher's hands are shaking too much to give Ben the shot.
Lim stares at a coffee pot and remembers the Covid crisis. She gets called to Ben's room. He hit Zoey because of a PTSD episode. Zoey insists she's okay and is going to go home. She just needs some time.
Claire thinks they can continue to use the experimental treatment. Lim doesn't think it's a good idea. Meanwhile, Andrews isn't happy that Jordan was chosen to do this over his niece when Olivia actually wants to learn.
The patient says she's scared. Jordan asks if she's sure she wants to go ahead. The patient is sure.
Lim finds out a first-year is upset. She finds Asher in the stairwell. He wishes they had a more effective treatment for Ben. Lim doesn't think it's about that. Asher asks if she ever lost a patient. Lim tells him about a patient who died during the Covid crisis. She says you get past it because that's the job. Eventually you stop reliving it.
The D & C begins. Jordan freezes up. She can't do the procedure. After, Lim confronts Jordan and threatens to have her removed from the program. She gets back to her office and finds Shaun there. He has soem adult toys for Leah and wants her opinion as well as Claire's. Claire ignores that in favor of a totally radical surgery for PTSD. Shaun suggests a way to lower risks. Lim yells at him to grow up and accept responsibility for the job he is supposed to be doing.
Claire tells Lim she has PTSD. Her therapist has helped her through it and suggests the same for Lim. Lim admits she feels off, disconnected. But that comes with the job and she'll get over it.
Ben is having another flashback in the parking lot. He says he knows where he is. He can't outrun the monster. He's a threat to everyone around him and nothing helps. He can't smile, laugh, feel anything but pain. He makes eveyrone around him suffer. Lim tells him about the surgical intervention.
Shaun wants to scrub in. Lim says he is supposed to supervising residents. He says she took over his case. She lets him scrub in and makes him instruct Asher in how to do the surgery. Lim doesn't allow Shaun to take over. She has to guide Shaun through guiding Asher. Asher is successful.
Rose's labs are normal. Lim wants to send Rose home. She discovers that Morgan and Park have foil in their mouths and tells them to go home since they're acting like idiots.
Lim goes to talk to Rose, who tells Lim you're the one who made my heart rate spike. You're about to implode. Rose crashes all of a sudden.
Lim checks her own pulse and finds her heart rate is going up and up. There is a knock on the door. It is Jordan. She apologizes and says it won't happen again. Lim says letting your personal judgment get in the way is inexcusable. Jordan says she does know what the patient is going through. She chose her career over motherhood, over her faith, and God forgave her. She tries not to think about it. Lim says she's off bedpan duty.
Ben's neurological exam shows everything is normal. But they don't know yet if it has cured the PTSD. He wants to tell Zoey how he got his scars. His driver was joking with him. He missed an IED and they drove over it. He cries. Zoey hugs him. Lim has another flashback. She walks in slow motion to where everyone is having a birthday party. Olivia says they have a diagnosis for Rose.
Lim tells Rose she has a heart condition which is exacerbated by stress. Stop seeking out other people's pain. Rose says Lim is here because she's hurting. Lim says okay tell me how to stop feeling like this. Rose says all she can do is hold up a mirror. Maybe breaking is the point. She can't outrun her pain.
Lim tries, going too fast on her bike and wiping out. She keeps hearing the words time of death in her head.