Quotables from Week Ending Jan 15, 2015

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From the week ending Jan. 15, 2015, here are the favorite quotes we captured.

1. "Yeah boss." NCIS

Zoe: Relax, Spider. They know about us. ~ Tony: Who knows? ~ Everyone: We all know. ~ Gibbs: It's about time. Geeze. Tony: How did you find out? ~ McGee: We're trained investigators, my friend. ~ Zoe: And in honor of us coming out, Tony is going to buy everyone drinks. ~ Tony: I am? ~ Zoe: Yeah. You are. C'mon. Get your coat. ~ Tony: Yeah, boss.

2. "I must be sure I am right to want this man, as my friend, as my lover, as my husband." Downton Abbey

Mary: I must be sure I am right to want this man, as my friend, as my lover, as my husband.

3. "He's on a scarab boat. It goes so fast, it doesn't have reception." Togetherness

Alex: Why hasn't he texted you back yet? ~ Tina: He's on a scarab boat. It goes so fast, it doesn't have reception.

4. "You cannot shirk your duties!" Archer

Japanese Soldier: You cannot shirk your duties! ~ Archer: Yes, I can. I do it all the time

5. "He got you to marry him, didn't he?" Castle

Beckett: He is resourceful, but he's not that resourceful. ~ Ryan: He got you to marry him, didn't he?

6. "Well, I'm gonna work on that penis." House of Lies

Jeannie: Is that Ellis Hightower, the electric car guy? Marty: Yes, it is. Jeannie: Shit... What do I have to do to get in here? Marty: Commit a felony. Grow a penis. Wait a minute. I think you already did one of those. Jeannie: Well, I'm gonna work on that penis.

7. "That's why they made sidewalks." Empire

Cookie: The Lucious Lyon I knew would tell those idiots the streets aren't made for everybody. That's why they made sidewalks.

8. "I have nothing left. You've taken everything." Criminal Minds

JJ: I have nothing left. You've taken everything. ~ Askari: Oh Jennifer. There is so much more I'm going to take. First, I will take your sleep. Then, your smile. I won't let you feel safe anywhere. So I'll take your job. And finally, I will transform you so that your husband and son won't recognize you anymore. ~ JJ: You can't. I won't let you. ~ Askari: You already are. Think about the risk you took at that freezer. You had no idea that the gas would ignore or not. It was dumb luck that you got out of there alive. Either you will try that again and I'll watch you kill yourself. Or you will quit and I'll watch you wither and fade. Either way, I win. ~ JJ: No. ~ Askari: Yes. ~ JJ: NO.

9. "I'm surprised." The Mentalist

Teresa Lisbon: Would you be surprised if I said I loved you? ~ Patrick Jane: I'd be lying if I didn't say I'd be moved by that. ~ Teresa Lisbon: I love you. I said it. ~ Patrick Jane: I'm surprised.

10. "Their vaginas are on fire!" Girlfriends' Guide to Divorce

Jake: Is it bathsalts? Cause I've seen it and they, they start eat each others faces! We have to stop it... ~ Abby: They soaked tampons in vodka! ~ Phoebe: No. No way. ~ Abby: Yes way. First they started drinking and then they didn't want the calories...Jade's idea! I told you... ~ Jake: Hold on, hold on. So what you're saying is... ~ Abby: Their vaginas are on fire!

11. "Tinder is like Facebook but it's just straight to smashin." Man Seeking Woman

Mike: Tinder is like Facebook but it's just straight to smashin.

12. "Make that broth taste like a hot bastard!" The Taste

Ben: Make that broth taste like a hot bastard!

13. "This is exactly the point in the movie where the guy in the audience says, 'get the hell out!'" The Librarians

Ezekiel: This is exactly the point in the movie where the guy in the audience says, 'get the hell out!'

14. "I may be better at basketball, but you're better at everything else." The McCarthys

Sean: I may be better at basketball, but you're better at everything else.

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NCIS, Downton Abbey, Togetherness, Archer, Castle, House of Lies, Empire, Criminal Minds, The Mentalist, Girlfriends' Guide to Divorce, Man Seeking Woman, The Taste, The Librarians, The McCarthys
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TV Quotes Quotes

And how many women call him? And how many women actually engage him? You see, men belong to a nice, exclusive subset. And you know, it's not betraying your sex by -- I mean, it's not regressive to be a conversationalist. You convince them you're a friend, and they'll forget what they are.

Daria

If there's one thing I've learned, it's that I can't win every fight. And that's cool; I'm okay with that. But this, this is our history. We can't lose this fight. All our struggles as a people, I think about it, and I used to say, “Imma show them. Imma go out and change the world.” Yeah, silly, I know, but when I'd look in your eyes, I could tell you were always thinking that I was running away.

Sam