Chad Radwell is back in town, and boy, was he sorely missed.
Scream Queens Season 2 Episode 2 saw the return of several familiar faces, rounding out what appears to be the principal cast of the current season. This smaller cast is definitely doing wonders for the show – clearly, the writers realized that they have to capitalize on their best actors and chemistry.
There is the larger arc of the Green Meanie killer, which is inching along week by week. But there is also each installment’s individual subplot – the “patient of the week” case.
Munsch wasn’t kidding around when she explained her desire to “cure the incurable.” Thus far, only the most eccentric (and, usually, gruesome) diseases have been introduced on the series. I can only imagine how much fun the staff writers and writers’ assistants on the show must have had researching all of the wackiest and most unusual diseases.
On the Scream Queens Season 2 Premiere, we had the dearly departed Catherine Hobart with her “Werewolf” syndrome. This time around, we actually had two “incurable” cases.
One was Tyler, a young man who was stricken with neurofibromatosis type 1, causing tumor-like growths all over his face and body.
I look like I'm wrapped in infected bubble wrap.Tyler
Tyler was played by guest star Colton Haynes.
Can you imagine, all that hotness buried down deep somewhere under all those tumor prosthetics? Haynes, for his part, did an excellent job with the all-too-brief role. He was very funny on his own and played really well off of both Abigail Breslin's #5 and Emma Roberts' Chanel.
I especially appreciated that he contributed towards actually deepening #5's character and proving she's not just a caricature of an eccentric, ditzy girl – she truly cared about Tyler.
I don't have money. The only money I make is writing Encyclopedia Brown fan fiction!Tyler
Unfortunately, he was the next victim of the Green Meanie, via laser machine. RIP Tyler, and all of your Encyclopedia Brown fan fiction yet to be written.
The other case subject was Randall, Chad’s friend who spontaneously developed "Jumping Frenchmen of Maine disease" (a real thing!) after accidentally shooting Liz Cheney in the face during a hunting trip.
I honestly have no idea how the cast got through the scene where Chad explained the circumstances of Randall’s affliction. Bless Glenn Powell and his ability to remain completely straight-faced while delivering all manner of hilarious and eccentric lines.
Speaking of Chad and his wonderful portrayer – his return was easily the single greatest thing about “Warts and All.”
Once Chad realized he couldn’t have Chanel, obviously he wanted her back. Based on everything we learned about Chad and his temperament in the first season, this is completely par for the course for his character. As soon as another man (in this case, Dr. Brock Holt) was showing interest, Chad had to have Chanel back.
The face-offs between Chad and Dr. Holt were consistently hilarious, particularly the “shower-off” scene. Chad was in a league all of his own during the first season, so it’s great to see him facing off with a worthy opponent in the form of John Stamos’ Dr. Brock Holt.
Nearly every single exchange between the two men was pure gold.
Dr. Holt: What are you doing?
Chad: Uh, showering. My third of the day. I like to stay extra fresh just in case emergency sex pops up.
Even better? Chad was the first person to make inroads in uncovering Dr. Holt’s hand-y secret.
In the midst of trying to "win" Chanel from Holt, Chad proposed a squash match (y'know, the casual Radwellian way of combating one's romantic opponent). During the match, Holt's rogue mystery hand made itself apparent.
The hand had previously acted suspiciously twice before in the same installment – once when it groped Chanel of its own volition during their movie date and a second time when Chad noticed the hand spontaneously writing down a very specific meal recipe, unbeknownst to Holt.
Chad was actually surprisingly proactive (to the point where it was almost out of character). He actually went and hired a private investigator to research Brock's hand (the dude Googled "squash + hand donation," essentially).
Sure enough, he turned up one obviously-relevant case – the hand of a serial-killing squash player was donated. Said hand is now likely attached to Dr. Holt's wrist.
We still don't know exactly what's up with this hand, what Holt knows of it, or where it will go from here, but I kind of love this as a subplot. It's such a cheesy, ridiculous storyline and fits in perfectly with the Scream Queens tone.
I will say, though, that I'm rooting for a Chad/Chanel eventual reunion. If only for the fact that it freaks me out to see John Stamos getting all romantic with an actress who is younger than the Olsen twins. Can't help it, just does.
Elsewhere, we learned more about the killer and Dean Munsch.
So. A large plant murdered Ms. Hobart and then attempted to murder you, before you passed out?Detective
Zayday and Chamberlain did the majority of the legwork in uncovering the Green Meanie's history. Zayday was initially set on the path to investigate the killer by suspicion that Dean Munsch was either the killer herself or had sent the killer after the Chanels to tie up loose ends.
Zayday, being a woman of reasonable intelligence, quickly realized that something was amiss – namely, how weird it was that Munsch would randomly open up a teaching hospital for unknown reasons.
In the course of investigating, Chamberlain and Zayday came across the story of the hospital massacre in 1986, in which the entire staff – including Dr. Mike and his nurse, the two who killed that man in 1985, as shown in the season premiere – was brutally murdered by someone in the Green Meanie costume.
Because the online records had been scrubbed and the story only existed on microfiche, Zayday assumed this mean that Munsch had scrubbed them and was working under the guise of the Green Meanie to take out the Chanels.
Surprisingly, Munsch had another explanation – one that Zayday bought far too quickly, if you ask me.
Munsch offered Zayday an alternative explanation for why she'd opened the hospital (the "truth," according to Munsch). The former dean claimed that she was suffering from an unidentifiable progressive disease and wanted the institute to work towards saving her.
This sounded like a loud of baloney to me, and I was waiting for the reveal that Munsch had made it all up as a purposeful misdirect.
But then two things happened.
The first was that, in a great parallel of that iconic first season fight between the Red Devils, Gigi in a Richard Nixon mask, and Munsch, the Doctor-Dean effectively beat the crap out of the Green Meanie. She was clearly fighting for her life and would have unmasked the killer if not for #3 and Dr. Cascade's untimely appearances.
Oh, come on! You've gotta be kidding me. From now on, when someone has just fought off the killer and they're about to reach down and pull off the mask and find out who it is -- not the time to distract them with a bunch of questions!Munsch
You can say that again, Munsch.
Then, Zayday actually cracked the case of Munsch's illness – namely, that she'd accidentally eaten diseased human flesh while in New Guinea on her book tour.
Yep, that's right! Munsch is an accidental cannibal. All too fitting, really.
According to Zayday, Munsch only has a year left to live and her disease is incurable. I doubt Munsch will go down without a fight, but for now she's apparently living on borrowed time.
Finally, the last big development reintroduced two major first season characters: Denise Hemphill and Hester Ulrich.
Munsch called up Denise, hoping to get some insight into figuring out the idenitity of the Green Meanie killer. Denise, for her part, hilariously still believes with all her heart that Zayday is a murderer and that she's now misdirecting suspicion onto Munsch to take the heat off of herself.
Do you know the number one lesson you learn as a top FBI cadet? Trust your instincts. And do you know what my instincts told me the first time I laid eyes on that Zayday Williams? I was like, "This bitch right here is a stone cold ho."Denise
Oh brother, Denise.
Luckily, Munsch and Denise didn't get too caught up in Denise's guilty-Zayday conviction. Instead, they turned their attention towards getting inside the killer's mind – via Hester.
Lea Michele was gloriously creepy as an obviously Hannibal-inspired Hester, who was imprisoned in a high-security, solitary cell with no windows.
Mysteriously (read: inexplicably), Hester knew all about the Green Meanie (or at least claimed to know, though she did have specific details about the case). Amusingly, she would only help them catch the killer under very specific circumstances. She wanted to be transferred to Munsch's hospital and she wanted certain high-end, discontinued beauty products.
Looks like Hester is on her way back to rejoining the main cast! I wonder what Chad's reaction will be to seeing his unhinged sorta-ex once again.
But real talk: If anyone is the killer, it's Hoffel, right? The sketchy, pill-popping nurse has it out for the Chanels for some reason, even asking Zayday for their detailed schedules. She also has an interest in spying on Munsch, overhearing the reveal about Munsch's illness.
What the heck is Nurse Hoffel up to?
Chanel's Line of the Week:
#5: Wait, how did you get the money?
Chanel: I asked Chad for it. I told him it was for an experimental weapons-grade pube laser that was developed by the Chinese military to give me a permanently stubble-free box. He started writing the check before I even finished that phrase.
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Caralynn Lippo is a staff writer for TV Fanatic. Follow her on Twitter.