Girlfriends' Guide to Divorce Season 3 Episode 5 Review: Rule #99: Cook Naked

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Secrets can be sexy. They can also be damaging.

The level of secrets ran the gamut on Girlfriends' Guide to Divorce Season 3 Episode 5, and the only person not keeping them was Barbara, who was on the hunt for some new merchandise to enhance her life.

She might have found quite the bargain by listening to the insistent Phoebe.

Remodeling Barbara's Kitchen - Girlfriends' Guide to Divorce

Phoebe is still sabotaging her life, and I can't deal with it.

That's been her character from the word go, and to sit through another boring plot where we're forced to watch her face the same things about herself again is a disservice to Beau Garrett, Phoebe and me.

But Phoebe was her usual, pushy self when it came to introducing Barbara to a kitchen designer Barbara knew would be over her budget.

Barbara's winning personality scored points that cut costs, though.

I enjoyed getting a more prolonged peek into Barbara's personal life.

We met her son, Jordan, and learned how important cooking is to her because it's the special time Barbara spends with him.

Creating magic in the kitchen is her thing.

Home Life - Girlfriends' Guide to Divorce Season 3 Episode 5

It just won't do to have a broken range. Somehow she got talked into a product she didn't want, though, and that worried me.

Until Darrell had time to digest the conversation he shared with Barbara, as well as the pie she placed in front of him.

The two had a lot in common. They're both single parents who consider their children their priority.

Darrell understood what her kitchen meant to Barbara. Once they made the connection, Barbara boldly asked him out for coffee.

Barbara has talked about how long it's been since she's had a real relationship, and given how well Retta has fit into the cast, I'm excited to see the character branch out of the group and into her own storyline.

How messed up was what went down at the Frumpkis camp?

I have to admit Frump was doing a great job hiding his addiction.

Jo was doing a better job observing his behavior and looking for old patterns. 

Zooey Afraid - Girlfriends' Guide to Divorce Season 3 Episode 5

If only she hadn't second guessed herself, Jo may have been able to spare Zooey finding her father in a heap on the floor. 

Considering what Frump was drinking and the volume, having his stomach pumped wasn't the worst that could have happened to him.

Have we ever heard Jo call him Robert before? You know she's frightened when she screams out her former husband's first name in despair. 

Frump revealed how far his desires go once he was in the hospital. They never stop.

No matter the occasion, Frump wants to drink. He knows he's totally messed up and needs help, but will he accept it?

I think Jo is going to have to have him committed someplace where he's not allowed to leave. Someplace strict and formidable.

If he's given the option to make a move on his own, his addiction will overpower him.

Thankfully, he pulled in the idea about the AA meetings, because that may be the only way to keep the shop afloat when he's in rehab.

That was his best contribution to date.

The place has already been struggling. I hate to think Jo might have to close it. What would she do then?

Onto Abby and Magic Mike.

Going most of the way but not all is ridiculously sexy.


I LOVE that they are exploring that area of sex that seems to have fallen by the wayside in entertainment.

Seriously, people DO still make out on occasion, especially when they're first getting to know each other.

Not on TV or in the movies, though. Until now! Go Abby and Mike!

Abby had to hear some ugly things about her beautiful new fling, though. The little league ladies? Not fans.

Even if we erase the events that occurred during the hour, it would make sense for them to be skeptical of her.

With Mike's separation being recent, that means they would have just lost Mike's wife in the little league divorce.

No doubt they all still catch up with her and share their moms' take on Asher's playing and even BS about her soon-to-be ex.

So Abby expecting to fit in while canoodling with Mike is a bit out there.

That Abby and Mike thought they were discreet enough to pass unseen before a gaggle of baseball moms was also a bit out there. Come on. Very obvious as of late.

What a Face - Girlfriends' Guide to Divorce Season 3 Episode 5

Even Linda felt bad when the whole affair was confirmed, and she was the one who shared Mike's living situation with Abby. We don't have Mike's side of the story yet, so we can't cast stones.

There's no doubt it was awkward, though. Lisa Edelstein doing her fake smile to cover Abby's embarrassment and disappointment was heartbreaking.

Oh, she can break your heart in a NY minute.

With what Linda learned, I think there's still hope she can become a friend of Abby's.

She became more cool as the awkward conversation continued. It was as if she needed to see Abby fall off her pedestal.

When one of my ex-boyfriends got divorced, he and his wife remained in the same house for a very long time. So long that I moved in with him while his ex stayed in another bedroom.

Mike's living situation shouldn't have any bearing on what he does with Abby, but it sounds like his wife may not be in the same place regarding moving on as Mike.

There's certainly more to their story, and he needs to share it with his new fling.

What do you think of the hour's events? When you watch Girlfriends' Guide to Divorce online, be sure to come back and share your thoughts!

Rule #99: Cook Naked Review

Editor Rating: 4.25 / 5.0
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User Rating:

Rating: 5.0 / 5.0 (2 Votes)

Carissa Pavlica is the managing editor and a staff writer and critic for TV Fanatic. She's a member of the Critic's Choice Association, enjoys mentoring writers, conversing with cats, and passionately discussing the nuances of television and film with anyone who will listen. Follow her on Twitter and email her here at TV Fanatic.

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Girlfriends' Guide to Divorce Season 3 Episode 5 Quotes

Abby: This is fun. I like keeping secrets with you.
Mike: I like a lot of things with you.

Mike: I'll see you at pickup?
Abby: Yeah. Will you be mean to be again in front of other people, because that is so hot.