90 Day Fiance Recap: Colt Makes a Mistake, Paul Begs for Help, & More!

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Colt Johnson is the worst. 

There's no denying that his behavior on 90 Day Fiance: Happily Ever After? Season 5 Episode 2 was absurd. The same can also be said for the likes of Paul, Jess, and even Andrei. 

The beauty of this iteration of 90 Days is that the couples are not being forced to play nice with the aim of getting married. In many cases, the couples are together, but that's not to say it will be plain sailing. 

Paul Returns - 90 Day Fiance: Happily Ever After?

Would it make for good TV if they were all happy? We think not. 

Colt Continues to be the Worst 

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Colt has been a polarizing figure on the franchise ever since his first episode. With his no-holds-barred attitude and his undying love for his mother, some viewers love him, and others despise him. 

He clearly didn't get the memo that relationships that begin with lies are not built on strong foundations. It was only natural for Jess to be confused about the way he side-stepped the revelation that she's a secret to his mother. 

Colt and Larissa did not function because of his mother, so that could explain his actions, but he could have at least been more open and honest with Jess from the jump. 

That's not to say Jess is much better. She's jealous, quizzing him about people contacting him, and bitching about him in her native tongue to her friends while Colt has to try to decode what she's saying. 

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While it pains me to say this, Jess seems about as genuine as Larissa. She acts like she knows nothing about Colt, but asks all the right questions to get a response from him that reality TV producers dream of. 

Colt wants to be in a relationship, but he doesn't want to make sacrifices. He clearly isn't learning from past mistakes, and there's no way Jess is the right woman for him. 

Jess should not have urged him to meet her friends so soon because first impressions are everything, and Colt looks like a possessive lunatic in their eyes. 

Both Colt and Jess were to blame here, and the supposed friend making jibes about Colt's weight did not sit well with me. If you're going to insult someone on national TV, then you should at least allow them the courtesy of hearing the insult in their native language. 

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For now, it will be a miracle if Colt and Jess survive the season. 

Paul and Karine: Why The Heck Are They Even Here?

Paul and Karine have proven time and time again that their relationship simply does not work, but here they are, trying to make it in America. 

Paul moved to Brazil to be with Karine as she gave birth, but it seems he can't make enough money to support his family there. It was a similar scenario when he was working in the U.S. 

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It truly is a catch 22 situation and one that he could have handled better. He's a 35-year-old man who can't seem to land on his two feet. 

What he needed from his mother was tough love, and that's why I clapped when she announced they would not be moving into her home upon their arrival in the U.S. 

Paul's reaction was priceless but expected. It should be fun to see whether he and Karine can build a life for themselves, but Karine is going to be too homesick to function. 

She's very close with her family, and Skype will not cut it. This is where she and Paul will clash, and it wouldn't surprise me in the slightest if she returns to Brazil before the season is over. 

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The issue for them is that Karine loves her home country, and Paul loves his. They need to make compromises to make this work. 

Andrei Doubles Down on Tradition

Andrei is slowly but surely taking over Spencer Pratt as the biggest reality TV villain in history. He has this superiority complex that makes him come off as a complete and utter jerk. 

It's his way or no way. He's a control freak, and the way he gaslit Elizabeth into asking her father for the wedding money was uncomfortable. 

There's a clear division between Elizabeth and her family, thanks to Andrei's actions. It was hilarious how Elizabeth's father knew this was a typical Andrei move. 

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There was no question about whether he would pay for the shindig. He likes to make sure his family is looked after, but it was disturbing how Elizabeth felt like she had no choice other than to ask him. 

There's going to be a showdown between Andrei and the family, and it's going to be ugly. 

Elizabeth's sisters and sister-in-law were right in their assessment of the situation, but you would think they would try to put a smile on for their family members. 

Asuelu is Stuck in a Rut, but Will His Marriage Survive?

Asuelu and Kalani's relationship begun in true fairytale fashion, but once the initial set of TLC cameras stopped rolling, the sun started to set on their marriage. 

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Asuelu's struggle to get acclimated to American culture is not surprising. His issue from the jump has been that he didn't want to leave his family, or even his culture behind. 

Kalani has been hard on him to do better in helping her with the kids and around the house, but he seems like a kid trapped in a young man's body. 

The progress he made when he vowed to do better was nice because it highlighted that he wanted to make things work. Kalani's maturity burned bright when she told him they could visit Samoa when they have the funds. 

There still appears to be a disconnect between them, and they are both going to make some sacrifices to make this work. 

What did you think of the latest episode? Are you Team Colt or Team Jess? Is Paul wanting to be treated like a kid?

Hit the comments below. 

Remember you can watch 90 Day Fiance: Happily Ever After? online right here via TV Fanatic. 

90 Day Fiance: Happily Ever After? airs Sundays at 8/7c on TLC. 

Paul Dailly is the Associate Editor for TV Fanatic. Follow him on Twitter.

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