Christopher Moltisanti Quotes
(on being 'made') I deserve it. Got no spleen, Gene!
Paulie: You didn't go to hell. You went to purgatory, my friend.
Christopher: I forgot about purgatory.
Paulie: Purgatory--a little detour on the way to paradise.
Christopher: How long do you think we've got to stay there?
Paulie: That's different for everybody. You add up all your mortal sins and multiply that number by 50. Then you add up all your venial sins and multiply that by 25. You add that together and that's your sentence. I figure I'm gonna have to do 6,000 years before I get accepted into heaven and 6,000 years is nothin' in eternity terms. I can do that standing on my head. It's like a couple of days here.
Christopher: (on having sex) If I knew it was going to keep getting better and better I would have asked you to marry me sooner.
Adriana: (slaps him) It wasn't always good?
Christopher: Let that one (points to Sandra Bernhard) call that one (points to Janeane Garofalo) "buchiach."
Janeane Garofalo: That sounds more interesting.
Director: Uh, buch- what?
Christopher: Buchiach. (motions to Sandra) If she's from Brooklyn...
Janeane Garofalo: That sounds okay.
Jon Favreau: Okay, let's roll. What does it mean?
Jon Favreau: Cunt-I like that.
Swingers? He can suck my dick; that swings, too.
Christopher: (on seeing Furio) What the fuck! Is he on vacation?
Paulie: Yeah, he saw a travel poster for sunny New Jersey.
(sees blow on guy's moustache) Don't you even own a mirror? You look like you've been French kissing the Pillsbury Doughboy.
Christopher: (practicing for drama class) He's a player and he's trying to fuck this broad.
Adriana: Where does it say he's trying to fuck her, Christopher?
Adriana: Maybe he's not. Ya ever think that's why he's the gentleman caller? Maybe he's a gentleman.
Christopher: It's my scene. The gentleman caller guy is not me.
Drama Teacher: It's not supposed to be. That's why they call it acting.
Black Protester: I want to talk to your foreman.
Christopher: You want to talk to the foreskin?
Black Protester: You're a wise-ass motherfucker.
Christopher: Well keep your mother off the streets and I won't fuck her.
When you're bleeding a guy you don't squeeze him dry right away. Contrarily, you let him do his bidding suavely. So you can bleed him next week and the week after at minimum.
Yeah. That's right. Go home and make my dinner!