Montana: Take a picture, it'll last longer.
Photographer: I'm sorry, I didn't mean to.
Montana: Relax, I'm just teasing. You another one of those true crime tourists?
Photographer: Oh god, no. I'm here for the waterfall. This lake is a rest stop on the pacific flyway. Ducks migrate from as far as Patagonia.
Montana: Neat.
Photographer: Yeah, hoping to catch a green wing teal with my new lens. It was a birthday present.
Montana: Happy Birthday. There's no ducks around here, but you can take my picture.
Photographer: Um, sure.
Montana: Top on or off?
Photographer: Um, you shouldn't. I'm here with my girlfriend.
Montana: I won't tell if you won't. What's this?
Photographer: My fanny pack.
Montana: Can I unzip it? Mmm, that's nice. You wanna stick it in me, birthday boy?
Photographer: Oh God, yes.
Montana: Me first.

  • Permalink: Me first.
  • Added:

Counselor: So gross. Aren't you bored of this by now?
Counselor #2: Seriously. I haven't wanted to touch a living person since 1972.

Idol only plays one way. Full throttle.


Night Stalker: You did something pretty cool, Dede.
Donna: Nobody's called me that in years.
Night Stalker: Since that night, I know, Satan showed me everything. Your old man had a wild appetite.
Donna: Who the fuck are you?
Night Stalker: Isn't it obvious? Evil, pure, uncut. You think it can be treated as an infection, but there's no cure, no pill to take. The darkness resides in everyone, even you.

Brooke: Do you think we should wake him up? I don't think you're supposed to sleep with a concussion.
Montana: I think the less he sees of this night, the better.
Brooke: Yeah, I guess you're right. Don't you think it was kinda weird that Margaret didn't mention the camper's boat before?
Montana: Yeah, well she's a weird chick.

Montana: Highway to heaven man. I used to love an audition on the books, possible two-episode arc as a cheery bellhop. How is a burn victim every supposed to play cheery?
Montana: I don't like this, Brooke should be back by now. Screw this, you stay here. I'm gonna find her.

Montana: Not another stick.
Donna: I'm not here to clash. I only want to help us get out of here.
Montana: Says the bitch who punched me in the throat. I suggest you leave now before I get the urge to kick more of your ass.
Donna: I thought I could help people all around the world. I never would have put you in harm's way otherwise.
Xavier: The hell are you talking about?
Donna: Mr. Jingles. I released him. I lead him to the camp. What happened here tonight, it's my fault.
Xavier: You did this to me? Look at my fucking face!
Donna: I wrapped his parts in the staff lot. If the three of us pull together we can survive this.
Xavier: No, it's your fault I'm a monster. It's your fault I'll never be on the cover of TV Guide. It's your fault my future is in radio.

Donna: Dad?
Donna's Dad: Dede. What the hell are you doing here?
Donna: Mom said you been disappearing a lot. I thought you were just running around behind her back, I didn't expect this.
Donna's Dad: You were never supposed to know this side of me. No one was.
Donna: How long?
Donna's Dad: My entire life. It's a pain, I wake up with a hunger, and I can't satisfy it, no matter how much I feed it. I was born with this. Now, I'm dying with it.
Donna: No one is born with that kind of darkness.
Donna's Dad: Do you really believe that?
Donna: I know it, you're not evil. You raised me, you love me, this is not you, this is not my daddy. Please daddy, please just put the knife down. I'm a psychologist. I can help you. You can change. Please, Dad.
Donna's Dad: I almost believed you Dede.

Trevor: Did you see what I said? We have to get out of here.
Margaret: All I can hear are children saying summer has been ruined.

Hey Rambo, my class isn't for posers. This is aerobics. It's serious.


Xavier: Bertie?
Bertie: Kitchen's closed, hon. Unless you're looking for a midnight snack.
[Bertie makes cat noise.]

Margaret: Why did you come back here?
Mr. Jingles: To finish what I started.