This room feels weird. I can't shake the feeling that I'm inhaling a lot dead skin.


You're welcome to sing The Sound of Silence in your hotel room. Right now.

Sue [to her mother]

By the power invested in me by a website, I hereby pronounce you Sue and Sue. You may kiss yourself.


I'll bet people say you look man-ish, but I think it's perfectly alright for a woman to be handsome.


Santana: I'm dating Puck.
Quinn: You're getting naked with Puck.

When you guys fooled around, did he ever just lie there?

Brittany [on Artie]

I can't suspend someone for shoving you into a locker. He'll just say he tripped and accidentally pushed you. I use that excuse all the time.


I will expel him faster than a Thai takeout place can read back a delivery order.


Kurt: When you call me "lady," that's bullying and it's really hurtful.
Sue: I'm sorry. I genuinely thought that was your name.

My Power Rangers got married and divorced in so many combinations, they were like Fleetwood Mac.


Finn: Are you sure we should free 300 live doves indoors? Won't that get messy?
Kurt: That's why we feed them glitter.

These galactic moguls aren't the stars of McKinley. We are. At least I want us to be.

Sam [to Quinn]

Glee Season 2 Episode 8 Quotes

We're gonna go to the hotel where they put up the guest stars on Lost.


Carol: We wanted the two of you to be the first to know.
Burt: Yeah, after the kids in that home room.