I've cheated twice. The first time I got pregnant. The second time I got mono.


Holy Sweet Hell! They're fooling around! I KNOW what cheating looks like, I do it all the time.


The only job you are going to have is working on a pole!

Rachel [to Santana]

Tina [to Santana]: Five minutes ago, you said Mr.Schu belonged in a 12 step program.
Will: Wait, what?
Santana: You're addicted to vests.

I’ve had mono so many times I’ve turned into stereo.


Will Schuester: Ok, guys I've got one word for you.
Brittany: Is it Love? I'm totally going to graduate now!

Finn: There's nothing going on between me and Rachel.
Quinn: All I know is that when I don't catch you staring at me... you're staring at her.

Rachel: She's prettier than me.
Finn: Would you stop? ... You're beautiful.

Finn only wears that gassy infant look when he feels guilty about something.


If he and I got married, the Gap would give me a 50 percent discount.


I'm pretty, but I ain't dumb.


I spell woman Z-I-Z-E-S.


Glee Season 2 Episode 12 Quotes

I'll just marry an NFL player. They're super reliable.


I had a cat thrown at me in a nursing home once.