Bill: I'm guessin' you weren't first in your class.
Guard: Which class?
Bill: Any of 'em.

Cora: Brady Hartsfield is a GORK, yes?
Felix: Yes.
Cora: So what's the problem here?
Felix: He's a human being.
Cora: Felix, Brady is a monster out of fairy tales that you would only tell children you hate.

He's the most reviled man in the history of this town. You need to give him the full dose.


I want you to fuck me while I'm pregnant because I might not be tomorrow.


Jerome: We were closing in on him, and he knew it.
Hodges: We?
Jerome: Yeah, we.

  • Permalink: Yeah, we.
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Doctor: His brain has the same electromagnetic level as a triple-A battery you left in a remote five years ago.
Hodges: If I whack that remote long enough, I'll get that TV runnin', I promise ya.

I know you're in there cause hate hangs on, and hate is all you had. It could bring you back someday. But sure as taxes and Christmas, though, I'll be waiting, and I'll finish it.


What's going on here, Brady? Are you the Mercedes Killer?


This is when, if I didn't care about my pension, I'd tell you to go fuck yourself.


Hodges: What can you tell me about Brady?
Lou: Well, for starters, he's probably the sweetest guy on earth.

Robi: Am I in danger?
Hodges: Only of being a dick. Will you give us the information that we asked for please?

Pete: It's over, partner. We got him.
Hodges: Maybe.

Mr. Mercedes Quotes

God. Showing up at a job fair in a Mercedez Benz. It's a sign of the times I guess, right?


Bill: Holy fuck.
Pete: It's worse than it looks.