Seinfeld Season 1 Episode 3: "The Robbery" Quotes
Kramer: I'm human...
Jerry: In your way.
Response when he realizes his answering machine was taken:
Jerry: I hate the thought of someone out there returning my calls.
Elaine: Excuse me, master packer!
Jerry: Yes.
Elaine: Just gimme your keys.
(giving house sitting instructions) One last thing, Benes. Regarding sexual activitystrictly prohibited, but, if you absolutely must, do us all a favor and do it in the tub.
Jerry
Kramer: How can you not have insurance?
Jerry: Because I spent my money on the Clapco 8000. It's the most powerful lock they make. It has only one design flaw...the door...MUST BE CLOSED!!
Jerry: And I cannot overstate this: no soft cheeses of any kind. Is that clear?
Elaine: No, I'm staying here for the weekend. I'm getting a break from my roommate.
George: Oh, the actress-waitress.
Elaine: No, the waitress-actress.
The hot water takes a little while to come on. So, the best thing to do is to turn it on, do all your shopping, you come back and take a shower.
Jerry
Elaine: (claps hands) That is the single greatest packing performance I have ever seen.
Jerry: I am the master packer.
Kramer: I said, "I know about the stuff," you know, so he'd take me into his confidence.
Elaine: What did he say?
Kramer: "What stuff?"
Jerry: Oh, case closed.
I go to visit my grandparents. They're having big brisket sandwiches; I'm sitting here with a carrot!
George
Elaine: Jerry, you can barbecue back here (points to garden).
Jerry: They deliver the coal?
Elaine: Sure, it's probably the same guy, who delivers the wood.
Jerry: Oh, than I gotta tip him.
