Turk: Alright Jake, here it is. The latest "Vengeance". I had to travel to five stores to find that.
Jake: This is last month's.
Turk: Look, I'll track down the new one for you later, but right now I've got to make sure I have a job next year.

It didn't bother me that Dr. Cox had just Kelly Ripa'd me because I knew it would never catch on. No matter how much he wanted it to.

J.D.'s Narration

J.D.: Look, all I'm saying is, it's important to go the extra mile with patients. It's like I was telling this girl last night...
(opens his cell phone and shows a picture to Dr. Cox)
Dr. Cox: Why would you tell her that?
J.D.: I didn't, I just wanted to show you who I'm going out with tonight.

Personally, me, I believe medicine is about more than treating the disease. You gotta be there for people. Take Mrs. Cohen, when she broke h er hip, I treated that. But she had also left her car double-parked so being an "extra mile" kind of guy, I went and took care of it.

J.D.

Newbie! Snap out of it. There's no time for your daydreaming.

Dr. Cox

J.D.'s Narration: Keith was shockingly good at pretending to like crappy presents. But you know what he was best at?
J.D.: Keith, we need more popcorn... yeah!
J.D.'s Narration: Being girl bait. Here's how it goes down. Keith comes back. Elliot marks her territory so that the girls knows he's taken. And I just pick off one of the smaller, weaker ones who come by for a look-see.
J.D.: I'm a doctor. I'm a landowner. Burt Reynolds is my father. I love sports.

J.D.'s Narration: Now that Elliot and Keith were serious, she started buying him gifts.
Keith: Oh hoho. I-It's a mouth harp... awesome.

Carla: How was your first stress-free day?
Turk: Horrible. And you?
Carla: Worse. Let's make a baby. If it doesn't work this time I'll kill myself.
Turk: Not helping with the stress.

Tamara: Do I smell banana conditioner?
J.D.: That's one of my conditioners, yes.

Dr. Kelso: Larry has Mr. Spot on his lung. Don't you worry, we'll pop that lung out of there, get it off to the dry cleaners and have it back to you a little after 5:00. Ha ha ha. We like to have fun.

Elliot: Carla, the orderly lost my chart for Mr. Tyler in 406. Would we have his dosages in here somewhere?
Carla: You were gonna put him on penicillin but he was allergic so you were gonna put him on a gram of vancomycin.
Elliot: Thank you.
Janitor: You should put some of that crazy nurse memory to use on our missing dude.

Patient: Sister Blanche. I've got a little birthday remembrance for you.
Dr. Cox: Oh. Have you, Stanley. I wasn't expecting any.
Patient: I hope you like it. You're hating this aren't you?
Dr. Cox: No, it's not that at all. It's just that I don't believe for a second that you really want me to leave. You gotta feel it. You gotta get involved. What do you-What do you people say, 'let's take it from the top'?

Scrubs Season 5 Episode 15 Quotes

Turk: Dude, there you are. Two things; First, the aliens are here and they're wearing track suits.
J.D.: Oh, that's Nana.

Patient: Sister Blanche. I've got a little birthday remembrance for you.
Dr. Cox: Oh. Have you, Stanley. I wasn't expecting any.
Patient: I hope you like it. You're hating this aren't you?
Dr. Cox: No, it's not that at all. It's just that I don't believe for a second that you really want me to leave. You gotta feel it. You gotta get involved. What do you-What do you people say, 'let's take it from the top'?