The Magicians
Wednesdays 9:00 PM on SyFyThe Magicians Season 5 Episode 9: "Cello Squirrel Daffodil" Quotes
Margo: Jesus cock and balls, what’s keeping Julia now? We just murdered the god damn king back there; they should act like it.
Fen: Probably just Julia’s toe worms.
Fen: What happened to your eye?
Margo: I lent it to Josh.
Fen: What happened to his eye?
Margo: Nothing. He’s an idiot. He went back to worth Tick and Rafe before things go shit shaped.
Fen: OK, so why did you …
Margo: I’m worried, so I’m keeping an eye on him, OK.
Fen: Oh, it’s a pun. I get it because you gave him your eye.
Margo: Shut the fuck up Fen.
My name is actually Plum, remember? I’ve just got to own it; leave the ranks of Chatwins who go by middle names or nicknames or supervillain monikers. Hi, Plum fucking Chatwin cursed freak.
Plum
When I was a first-year, I had this stupid idea that teachers knew a ton more than me. Gonna blow it for you, pretty much no one knows dick about anything, especially traveler shit.
Penny
Plum: Bringing you my troubles has cocked things up already. I don’t want to make things worse.
Penny: Yeah, well messing up my life kind of runs in your family. I’m used to it.
Plum: You’re not convincing me.
Penny: Which Chatwin you related to?
Plum: Honestly, I don’t know. My parents are British; they have the proper sense not to speak of the family curse.
Penny: Well, you are the third Chatwin I’ve met. First one was the Beast, who basically tortured me when I was a kid, but his sister Jane, she did everything she could to stop him. She changed time. She was incredible. So, family curse? As far as I’m concerned scales are even. You could tip it either way.
Margo: Hey, who the fuck are you?
Plover: Cello squirrel daffodil.
Margo: OK.
Fen: Uh Margo, what are you doing?
Margo: Life lesson Fen: There’s always a point where you can decide that’s not my problem.
Plover: Sir Arthur Conan Doyle.
Margo: We have friends to save, a Dark King to re-kill. Hang with Mad Libs pedophile all you want. I’m going back to double-tap the motherfucker like he’s Osama, and I’m Seal Team Bitch.
Past Fogg: Ski masks? Big trend in the future?
Penny: I’m trying to avoid a time paradox.
Past Fogg: Ah, smart and stupid. You don’t think I’ll recognize your voices?
Penny: Kinda counted on you being a little drunk.
Past Fogg: Hmm.
Penny: It’s the afternoon.
Plum: Thanks Professor Fogg.
Past Fogg: No, gosh, thank you, thank you. This might all make an excellent dissertation.
Plum: Might even be worth a promotion.
Past Fogg: God no, me, dean? No, I’d have to pay off a lot of colleagues’ wives.
Eliot: You OK?
Julia: Yeah, I just have a problem, and it’s getting worse.
Eliot: How’d you get so pregnant?
Julia: The usual way, except it’s Red Monkey month, so everything grows a lot faster.
Eliot: I guess congratulations.
Julia: Thanks, I think.
Eliot: Present deal aside, the whole circle of life of this is kinda very moving.
Julia: In a far less dungeon-y timeline, I’d definitely be asking you to throw me a baby shower right about now.
Eliot: I know a spell that makes sparkling cider get you hammered. Perfect loophole for this situation.
Alice: Basic problem’s the same: We can’t fix magic on earth. We did some stuff to the moon, and she’s mad. She’s a …
Kady: Monumental cunt.
Alice: Evidently. So, she’s screwing up circumstances.
Kady: My Akkadian’s rusty, but I think this says we can win the moon’s favor if we …
Alice: Virgin sacrifice.
Kady: Oh, well that’s out.
Alice: Not to mention the method of death is pretty gross.
Gordy: Say, ‘Ah.’
Plover: Fire engine.
Gordy: Well, there’s your problem: He can’t talk right.
Margo: No shit Gordy. We want to know why.
If we can’t get into the library, then we are stuck reenacting “The Help” with these casually racist while people.
Penny
