Katya: They're jingling, baby.
Archer: Huh! I didn't know you were a fan of early crossover mainstream hip-hop!

• Permalink: Huh! I didn't know you were a fan of early crossover mainstream hip-hop!
• Added: March 13, 2015

Just the Tip!

• Permalink: Just the Tip!
• Added: March 13, 2015

Pam: But wait, why are you telling me about your plan not to make Lana jealous.
Archer: Because I- oh my god, Pam, I think you might be my best friend
Pam: You're my best friend! (hugs him)
Archer: But what about Cheryl?
Pam: You're my second best friend!

• Permalink: You're my second best friend!
• Added: March 06, 2015

Archer: Where's Lana?
Krieger: I'm not even 100% sure where I am right now. (gets shot with a tranquilizer for the 3rd time by Archer)
Archer: (to tranquilizer gun) You are my new favorite thing

• Permalink: to tranquilizer gun You Are my New Favorite Thing
• Added: March 06, 2015

Lana: First of all, your plan was too complicated!
Slater: Maybe for you people.
Archer: It had everything except a sign for free birdseed.

• Permalink: Free Birdseed
• Added: March 05, 2015

Lem Kane: That's why I had to keep my secret. Can you imagine what that would mean to big oil or OPEC?
Archer: Well, there's no need to be racist.
Lana: How is the acronym for the organization of pertoleum exporting countries racist?
Archer: Oh, that's what it means?

• Permalink: OPEC
• Added: February 26, 2015

Lana's mom: What is it you're studying?
Archer: Um..Medeival-Slavic History
Lem Kane: Really? That must be fascinating
Archer: Well, everyone thinks that but---
Lem Kane: So tell me what are your thoughts on the Battle of Kosovo 1389
Archer: Um, no opinion (squirming his way through the answer)
Lem Kane: Not even as it relates to the rise of Serbian nationalism?
Archer: Um, nope? Also, that's a bit reductionist

• Permalink: Um, nope? Also, that's a bit reductionist
• Added: February 26, 2015

Archer: Who gets into a hot tub naked with a stranger?
Lana: Because everybody? Because Berkley?!
Archer: How doese a whole city get a pass from acceptable behavior!

• Permalink: How doese a whole city get a pass from acceptable behavior!
• Added: February 26, 2015

Archer: Can I call you Lem?
Lem Kane: Of course you may, absolutely. But it's actually pronounced Dr. Kane.

• Permalink: Can I call you Mr. Kane?
• Added: February 26, 2015

Lana: Daddy, tell us about your research.
Lem Kane: Well, algae is always challenging.
Archer: Yeah, just ask a flip-flop.

• Permalink: Just ask a flip-flop
• Added: February 26, 2015

Archer: I'm serious, just radio Lieutenant Colonel. He can straighten this whole thing out.
Military Commander: Lieutenant Colonel who?
Archer: This is embarrassing but I thought his last name was colonel.

• Permalink: I thought his last name was colonel.
• Added: February 19, 2015

Cheryl: See what? What's Area 51?
Pam: What's Area--, are you shitting me? Everybody knows about Area 51.
Archer: Yeah, even me, and I didn't know they made shoes out of cornbread.

• Permalink: Yeah, even me, and I didn't know they made shoes out of cornbread
• Added: February 19, 2015