Peter and his friends watch TV as Lois and Stewie make an entrance. Stewie's tricycle has gone missing.
Peter sets out to find it, and beats up a kid selling lemonade in order to find it.
The word spreads that they're good at solving classes. They get an office and start getting into business.
Joe reports a crime spree and they realize they need to get to work.
Peter sees Chris on a video tape stealing items, but still believe his son would do that. Quagmire says that we should check their room.
It turns out that Chris made a girlfriend doll out of the stolen items because he's lonely. "Heather," Chris's "sex doll."
Peter think's it weirder than a secret Donkey Kong level, and an extended skit about that level plays out where a murder is covered up.
Lois questions her relationship with Peter, but Peter thinks they're romantic enough. Peter tries to tell Chris that it isn't healthy to spend time with his sex doll.
Chris says the doll won't even let him get to second base (touching one of the cabbages). Peter tells Chris to not sell himself short, and says that he'll help him bang that piece of garbage sex doll.
He goes through a fireman photshoot with his son.
Chris tries to talk game to Heather, and the doll falls on his lap -- Chris gets the wrong idea.
He shows up in his underwear to breakfast the next morning, with Heather wearing his shirt.
Lois mistakes flowers for Heather as flowers from Peter for herself, and is disappointed that Peter isn't more appreciative of her.
Lois keeps realizing that Chris treats Heather way better than Peter treats her. Chris makes her her favorite cookies, and goes on tandem bike rides, while Peter tries to get her to wear face masks of Katherine Heigl.
Brian tries to tell Lois that she shouldn't encourage Chris's delusions, but Lois says she wants Peter to see how a proper gentleman should behave for at least one hour.
A montage occurs where Chris is the perfect boyfriend while Peter is the typically horrible husband. He even tries to have sex with Lois in a porta-potty while Chris and Heather take pictures in a photo-booth.
Lois is super jealous of Heather.
Apparently Chris had a hamster dance tourettes syndrome in the past. Lois uses that as an example of how he should get over Heather "leaving" him.
Lois starts to feel bad about ruining Chris's relationship, and takes him to where she buried Heather's dead body.
Lois talks Chris through his need for a doll, and he finally gets over Heather. He says the only thing left is to remove the baby made out of skittles from inside of the doll and eat it on the ride home with his mom. Lois agrees.
Chris's new girlfriend ends up being a dominatrix off of craigslist, who knows Peter by name.
Lois wonders how she knew Peter's name, and Peter, rather than answer her question, pulls out a football and takes a knee until the end of the episode.