Lois walks in with bank statements and tells everyone to gather for prayer. She opens the statements, but declares they are still poor. She tells Peter they need to come up with a budget to save for Stewie's college fund.
Cutaway to Peter shooting a runaway pizza for dinner.
Lois is in kitchen working on the bills and a budget when Peter walks in. She suggests bundling cable and phone, but Peter has a better idea: metal detecting.
Cutaway to Awkward Stepdad Show.
Peter does some metal detecting and comes home with a bag of Purple Heart medals.
The next day he goes metal detecting again and finds another metal detector. He puts the new one against the old one and he blasts into some sonic boom space where he sees Mayor West.
Peter is out detecting again, this time at a beach, but he's stealing instead. He adds his "finds" to his already overfilled junk car and takes off. At home he is eating a sandwich when Lois comes into the kitchen and asks if robbed people at the beach. She tells him they are going to the mall tomorrow to return the detector.
Cutaway to Usher concert.
At the mall, they return the metal detector and are heading to the food court when they run into Joe an Bonnie who are waiting in a line to audition for a peanut butter commercial. Lois and Peter decide to give Stewie a chance. Stewie starts making fun of Brian and peanut butter when the casting directors see Stewie and give him the job.
Lois has a viewing party for Stewie's commercial. Stewie's commercial comes on and everyone goes crazy.
Cutaway to Queen of Burlesque Griffin.
Peter comes in with the mail and finds a royalty check from the peanut butter company. She says it's going into Stewie's college fund.
Cutaway to rich guys' socks.
The Griffin's go to a fancy restaurant to celebrate. Brian questions Lois and Peter's intentions.Lois justifies the dinner and says Stewie got another call for a commercial. Brian and Peter have an argument.
Cutaway to sunny side up egg.
At the audition, Lois gets into a pissing match with other moms. The casting director comes out and asks Stewie to perform. He does the robot, but hurts himself when he does the splits. He doesn't get the part.
As they are driving home, Peter and Lois are angry. Stewie tries to lighten the mood. Lois yells at him to shut up.
9-11 Museum cutaway.
Brian wakes up to music and finds Lois and Peter forcing Stewie to practice for another audition in the morning.
Peter created a concoction that contains cocaine to help Stewie with energy. Stewie goes crazy after he drinks it.
At the audition, Stewie can't stay awake so Peter gives him another shot of the juice. Stewie goes crazy again and gets the part.
Lois makes a few more purchases after Stewie gets the orange juice kid part. Brian again questions their motives. Lois says that Stewie is an actor now and doesn't need to go to college.
Anne Hathaway cutaway.
Brian tries to talk to Stewie about the problem he sees with Stewie being a child actor, but Stewie won't have any of it.
Business center cutaway.
The next day, Brian again talks to Stewie about the child-acting thing and shows him pictures of child actors who self-destructed. Stewie decides he doesn't want any part of it and he and Brian decide to do something about it.
Cutaway to Godzilla attacking Haiti.
At the shoot, Peter and Lois are sitting next to each other, texting each other. Peter goes to give Stewie another shot of the juice, but Stewie passes it off to a crew guy. When it's his turn for his line, he goes crazy and grabs the "mom's" boobs and tries to poop in the orange juice. He is immediately fired. Peter and Lois are shocked, but then realize that they've been wrong.
Back at home, Lois and Peter talk about how they are glad they figured out they were wrong. Peter tells Lois he lies to her constantly. Stewie tells Brian he mostly enjoyed the dancing and cocaine.
Cutaway to an older Stewie doing core strength training.