Doug Murphy Quotes
Doug: Smooth maneuver, hoover. You scared her off.
Ted: You were the one who was embarrassingly forward!
Ted: Turk and Carla's wedding - we made out?
Doug: So did we.
Danni: Was it at the same time? Because I have a habit of doing that at people's weddings.
Doug: You know, I don't really like you guys playing with my cadavers.
Elliot: Oh, really, Doug? So how come that one over there has a soda in his hand?
Doug: He keeps it cold!
J.D.: And how come when we walked in you were sitting in a circle with three corpses playing Texas hold 'em?
Doug: Just call first from now on!
J.D.'s Narration: As I stood there confused but enjoying Neena's very long kiss with just the right amount of tongue, I thought about how when you make tough decisions good things can happen. Like the confidence you can gain from finding your true calling.
Doug: Hey, Nelson. Got some of your handiwork down in the morgue today. Were you operating with a blindfold on or what?
Doug: Elliot, I know everyone thinks I'm this huge screw-up, but I just want you to know that I'm gonna turn it around!
Elliot: Doug! This is a quarantined area!
Coroner: I cannot figure out how this guy died...
Doug: I'm betting he took a paracentesis needle to the aorta.
Coroner: Have you seen this before?!
Doug: Seen it? Upstairs they call that a 'Doug'!
Doug: Hey, J.D. Just preppin' Mr. Hovey for brain surgery.
J.D.: Doug, Mr. Hovey's having rotator cuff surgery.
Mr. Hovey: What'd you do to my hair?
Doug: Nothing!
Doug: How long do I have to stay up here?
Janitor: Just until I finish pretending to read the newspaper. Hm! Apparently there was some sort of election held recently.
Dr. Kelso: Shake this place up! And for God's sakes, get Murphy out of here!
Carla: Don't worry, Doug, you're a good doctor.
Doug: I know!
He turns around and accidentally jolts Carla with the defribrilator paddles.
I'm not sure if I'm supposed to give this to someone, or if I took this from someone, but...I got a bag of blood.
Doug: Ears! Right! I'm not stupid!
J.D.: Where are my clothes?
Doug: I sent them to the dry cleaners!
J.D.: Aw, Doug!
Dr. Cox: Each and every one of you is going to kill a patient. At some point during your residency you will screw up, they will die and it will be burned into your conscience forever. Hell, take pee-pants here.
Doug: Pee-pants...
Dr. Cox: He might just go ahead and get himself a good, clean kill this morning seeings as his patient Ms. Samson is in DKA and he hasn't been tracking her phosphate level, her phosphate level, her phosphate level.
J.D.: Doug! Stop writing and go!
Dr. Cox: That young man has killed so many patients, I'm starting to think he just might be a governmet operative. The point is, the harder you study, the longer you might be able to hold off that first kill. Other than that, I guess cross your fingers and hope that the guy that you murder is a jackass with no family. Great to see you kids, all the best!
J.D.:Thank you, thank you Doctor Cox... Okay you guys, pizza and punch in the penthouse. Doug! Wrong patient, one bed over!
