J.D.: Look the point is, think of the millions of times you chose to not to hang out with your wife, 'cause you were trying to hang out with me. You know, maybe it's time you started acting like a real husband, instead of acting like some sort of crazy... cowboy.
Turk: A cowboy?
J.D.: I don't know, it just came to me.

Elliot: Oh, don't worry. He's not allowed to talk!
Lindsay: Is that true?
Elliot: You may nod.

Back to your room Mr. Johnson, you've got one ventricle!

J.D.

J.D.'s Narration: After sharing a quick victory dance with Roland, the heavy-set orderly who, coincidentally, was my victory dance coach...
Roland: Pop the hips, pop the hips J.D.
J.D.: OK, there it is. Thanks Roland, one day I'll get it.
Roland: I doubt it.

Janitor: You gave me a cursed uniform!
Dr. Kelso: Ha, ha, ha, it's not cursed, its simple psychology. I chose Robin's-Egg blue because it has a calming effect on people & I knew it would be the thorn in your paw. Other colours evoke different reactions, for example bright orange has been found to provoke hostility.
Ted: Doctor Kelso, I wanna thank you again for the tie.
(Ted is thumped in the arm by Todd)
Todd: Fist Five!
Ted: OWW! It's the third time today.

Turk: What? What! Were you gonna eat that? How about this, let's all have fries, huh, let's all have fries! You want fries!?!
Carla: Turk, you said you were OK!
J.D.: My fries!

Jordan: (Motionless face and voice) Owwww! I think you separated my shoulder, the pain is excruciating.
Turk: What?

Dr. Cox: Listen to me carefully, I know all about what it's like to be a teenage girl, wah wah wah. Course, I never had to try to convince my mother that I sure would have liked a navel ring.
Elliot: Oh, well, we were all going to Jamaica and my friend Susan...

J.D.: Can I get up, my butt is asleep.
Turk: NO!
Carla: Turk, you know how I was so upset because you started calling your ex-girlfriend? I just couldn't understand how a married person could slip up like that, now I do. I'm so sorry.
J.D.: Me too buddy.
Turk: Guys, as insane as this may sound I'm actually gonna be OK with this. Just do me a favor, no more apologies and no more explanations and for the love of God, honey, no more girl-on-girl kissing demonstrations.
Cut to Cafeteria
Todd: Something horrible has happened.

Janitor: Nice, huh?
J.D.: Who gets a tattoo of a mop?

Dr. Cox: However, if you'd like to know about why I'm butting in, it's because your young patient Lindsay here, when she was 10 years old, I'm the one who diagnosed her with epilepsy and now that her medication is no longer controlling her seizures, I'd like to know what's going on. Besides, over the years, Lindsay and I have developed quite a rapport. Hey Lindsay, what's up girlfriend?
Lindsay looks at Cox, then looks away with embarrassment.
Dr. Cox: See, rapport.

Look here, I was thinking maybe, maybe you'd rather just stay in tonight. You know have some pizza watch, watch some movies, what do you say?... Are you trying to smile?

Dr. Cox

Scrubs Season 4 Episode 22 Quotes

J.D.: Look the point is, think of the millions of times you chose to not to hang out with your wife, 'cause you were trying to hang out with me. You know, maybe it's time you started acting like a real husband, instead of acting like some sort of crazy... cowboy.
Turk: A cowboy?
J.D.: I don't know, it just came to me.

Look here, I was thinking maybe, maybe you'd rather just stay in tonight. You know have some pizza watch, watch some movies, what do you say?... Are you trying to smile?

Dr. Cox